Ever wondered why someone cheats in a relationship or uses a website like Ashley Madison?
I don’t know about you but when I saw the statistics on the rates of cheating in the Ashley Madison article especially in Sydney and Melbourne I was a little more than surprised.
I thought wow, surely the numbers are wrong which also motivated me to look a little deeper into why a person cheat’s and if you can stop it.
If you have ever been cheated on in a relationship it is gut wrenching.
A massive blow to your self-esteem and it can take years to recover from. Sadly sometimes some people never recover from an act of infidelity. It takes a lot of work to recover from and regain trust and open up your heart.
When you have been cheated on all sorts of things run through your mind.
How long has this been going on for? Why wasn’t I good enough? Did it really happen?
Whatever goes through your mind it isn’t pleasant. So let’s look at this cheating thing from a logical human behavioural perspective. I can imagine a lot of people as a result of Ashley Madison’s leak are feeling these mixed emotions at present.
Why does a person cheat or use a website like Ashley Madison?
A person cheat’s for a number of reason and fundamentally it doesn’t come down to values, some people have personalities prone to cheating. If a person has a history of cheating, they are likely to be a repeated offender, so yes it is true. Once a cheater always a cheater in this group of individuals.
Then there are the situational cheaters they tend to be in relationships where they are not satisfied this is very common in relationships with high conflict.
Boredom, stress, low self-esteem, sabotage and also be contributing factors to a person cheating. Sometimes when a person feels like they don’t matter in a relationship the seek attention externally to get some form of validation.
How to stop a person from cheating or using a website like Ashley Madison?
The best way to prevent cheating is to have a strong connection with your partner. Show them appreciation for the little things. Take the time to have fun in your relationship, remember what you loved doing when you first met to make each other feel special.
Take some time out for date night, a weekend away and add some adventure to your relationship. If you meet your partners six core needs they will always want to be with you and never want to go elsewhere.
The six core needs are:
Certainty, which is safety and security.
Uncertainty, in the form of variety and adventure, this keeps that spice and excitement in your relationship.
Significance, make your partner feel special, if they feel special they will want to make you feel special.
Love and connection, if you have that connection keep it stronger with communication and eye contact, intimate moments will bring you even closer.
Growth believe it or not, to keep a relationship solid it is about personal growth, challenge each other and become a better person.
Contribution is all about giving when your partner gives you something accept with great thanks. Even if it’s a compliment or a hug, show your appreciation. You’ll get more I promise.
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