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10 things that keep you single

857ccacfe96d40ff19761c1bc0e8fe95.341. Being too judgemental keeps you single!

Think of how often you have fallen for someone that you have met over time. Love at first sight rarely happens so it is important to remember that persistence is the key to finding true love!

2. Being negative keeps you single

By blaming, looking for the perfect spark instantly and focusing on the negative that is all you will see. It’s a bit like eating a cake that’s delicious – you either focus on the fat it will deposit on your hips or simply enjoy the moment and take a run later.

You may meet a wonderful man or woman that may be nervous on a date and not quite as charismatic as you would like. Take some responsibility and see how you could improve the situation – make your date comfortable, smile, throw in a little joke and watch them transform. You will certainly be viewed as a very attractive irresistible person.

3. Talking about your ex keeps you single

Living is the past and blaming is really unattractive. Let it go, it is time to focus on the future. Bringing up the subject of your ex only makes you look like you have not moved on, do this and sit back and watch your date run away! It is a forbidden subject!

4. Being Intimidating keeps you single

Love is all about ‘giving’, intimidation is all about taking and competition. Leave intimidation for the oval or the work place! No one really warms to an intimidating person. It is easy to eliminate intimidation simply by being softer, open, and compassionate.

5. Not making time keeps you single

In today’s world everyone is busy. Think about how much you would like a relationship versus the amount of time you spend making time for someone special. Invest some time for someone new. It’s easy. Just prioritise!  After that first phone call arrange your date within days or at least within a week. There is nothing more unappealing than a person booking a date 2 weeks in advance and not making time at all.

Be proactive. Even if it is a quick drink make the time. You will appear spontaneous and exciting! And yes make time a few times a week as the relationship progresses, it will be worth it. Studies have shown people in happy relationships are more productive and relaxed then their single colleagues.

6. Expecting perfection keeps you single

80/20 rule of life! No one will tick all your boxes immediately. Take a look at what it is that is your biggest objection, and ask yourself it is something you can live with? Ask yourself am I perfect?

7. Arrogance will keep you single

Thinking you are better than anyone is really unattractive. Confidence on the other hand is a different story. Being arrogant is a number one turn off it makes you appear insecure and can make an attractive person look unappealing. Remember no one is perfect!

8. Acting desperate keeps you single

Ok, so you have been single for years and now you are ready to meet the one and make it happen now! Ideally this is a great scenario and definitely can happen, but the cliché is you will find love when you least expect it! It does take time to find the right person for you.

When you first start dating someone do not overly emotionally commit yourself. I know it is easier said than done, but seriously, enjoy the moment. If your date has sent you a text or called don’t over analyse and see yourself walking down the aisle. Take the time to establish whether this is the person you would like to with, and never try to guess what the person is thinking!

9. Expecting a spark on your first date keeps you single

Sure this can happen, but I can assure you it’s rare. A rule of thumb I have seen from successful happy couples is the 3 date rule applies. Date one is simply to break the ice and establish common ground. I recommend keeping date one as relatively short to keep the mystery and interest high. Never reveal too much on your first date, let it all be about the other person. This is the time you discover what makes them tick.

Date two, perhaps do something that your date mentioned during date one. Make it interesting. Was it horse riding, fishing, an amazing restaurant a theme park? Be creative even if the spark wasn’t there on the first date. This is your opportunity to shine.

And finally, date three. Ok so the ice is broken, you have established common ground and by now had lots of fun with this person. It’s time to establish whether you have chemistry. Do you like the person’s eyes, smile, how do they make you feel when you are around them? Could you see a future? Take it slow and don’t jump to conclusions too quick!

10. Expecting the knight in shining armour or goddess keeps you single

Let it go. This really is a fairytale or fantasy. What you can expect is a fabulous man or woman to complement and support you! Look at yourself and realistically assess what it is you have to offer.