16 Dating deal breakers for men – women pay close attention!

A woman can turn a man off very quickly on a first date.

They switch off, and whatever you do to get their attention back fails.

Following are some essential things a woman can do to keep a man’s attention and interest.

1) Dishonesty about age

Nothing is worse than dishonesty, especially when it comes to age. Be upfront and truthful about your age, as you cannot hide certain parts of age like wrinkles and grey hair. If you have told the guy you are 35 and you are 45, he will spot this very quickly. The look on his face when he first sees you will tell the whole story. He’ll be super disappointed as he was expecting to see the women in the photo.

Transparency and honesty are essential in the dating world. If a man is after 35-year-old women never try to compete in this space; if you are not 35. It’s impossible, and you’ll only end up in the dating pool competing with younger women. Be confident in your age, who you are, and the man will respect you for this. It would be best to meet a man in your age group.

2) Keep fit

Men are attracted to women who have pride in themselves and their appearance. If a man is fit and has kept himself in shape, he’ll expect the same with you. So yes, it’s hard to go to the gym during COVID with all these lockdowns but try and trim the kilos doing online cardio classes. Looking trim, taught and terrific will have his eyes glued on you throughout the date.

Also read: Winter Blues – tips for looking & feeling fabulous

3) Manners

Men like women to respect their time. Men want attention on them, and if you’re on your phone more than once, this might send signals that your phone addiction is more important than he is. It’s a huge turn off and one that will have him running for the door very quickly. Business Insider tells us when they talk about dating etiquette that three-quarters of singles said they would be turned off if their date answered the phone without any explanation, while 66% said it was off-putting if they texted.

4) Teetotaler

Men respect a woman who is in control of herself. Most men want a beer or a glass of wine on a date. It’s sociable and relaxes the nerves. If you are a teetotaler and stick to the lemon-lime and bitters, this will show a glimpse of the future. Not ideal if he enjoys his alcohol. If he wants to meet in a bar or pub, tell him you’re a non-drinker upfront and ask him if this is a deal-breaker. If so, don’t waste your time. It will be less painful for both of you.

5) Smoking

Ducking out for a quick cigarette is a definite no-no! Smoking is so passe even if you have had a few wines. Telling him you only smoke when you drink may be OK, but this is a massive turn off for the majority of health-conscious guys. 

6) Selfie addicted

Aman appreciates a woman who respects his privacy.  Taking selfies on the date and rushing to post them on Instagram is a huge turn off for most guys. Marie Claire puts it nicely when they say being on your phone during a date is just rude. I hate having to repeat myself continuously because my date is distracted by a Facebook notification or an incoming WhatsApp message. So check it afterwards.’

7) Being late

Men appreciate a woman who respects his time. Unless you have a perfect excuse, don’t be late. Punctuality shows respect for the guys, and he’ll notice this. Running into the date 20 minutes late, looking flustered and sending continual text messages show him that you’re not interested and is a massive turn off. Don’t be surprised if the guy has shot through and is not waiting for you like a loyal puppy if you’re late and didn’t notify him.

8) Talking about your love conquests

Men like to feel like they are the only man in your world. Men don’t want to hear too much about your past sex lives or other many dates. It shows that you are jumping from one date to the next, and he may feel as though he’s just a number on your dating raffle. So try to play down your dating past.

9) Watch your language

Guys are not the only gender that uses swear words; women are just as guilty. So, tone this down as it cheapens you. According to Psychology Today, for many women, profanity is a turnoff—especially on a first date when both parties are expected to be on their best behaviour. So if it’s the same for women, don’t think for one moment that men don’t share the same attitude. Drop the F-bomb word a few too many times, and the man will be out the door never to return.

10) Being too controlling

Men are attracted to a woman who is feminine and allows him to be the man. Try not to dominate even if you are a high powered executive woman in a job where you are the boss of many men. For example, don’t correct his grammar and let him do the ordering, and don’t try to dominate the conversation. 

11) Too much perfume

Don’t overdo the perfume, as it can be overpowering. Also, he might start to think that you’re covering up some heavy body odour. If you want to spice it up with your favourite perfume, use it sparingly, just enough to get his interest. Also, tone down the make-up. Looking natural is a turn on for guys.

12) Overselling your business prowess

A man doesn’t want to know about your business like; he wants to know about you as a person in a relationship. Some women will oversell their business capabilities to cover up the fact that they are struggling financially. Overselling yourself and creating a grandeur image of who you’d like to be is transparent and outright dishonest. Being humble and down to earth is the best approach to keep the men interested in seeing you again for a second date.

13) Going on about the kids

Talking about the day to day life as a mother can kill sexual attraction. If you start complaining endlessly about your children’s problems, school drop-offs, being a single mum will start sending substantial red flags to the man on the date. He wants to learn more about the beautiful you and not your daily life struggles, which can come later.

14) Ask him to pick up the tab

A man appreciates a woman who offers to contribute to the bill in most cases a gentleman will still insist on paying but he does appreciate the offer. Don’t expect the men to pick up the tab at the end of the date. Instead, do the right thing and offer to pay half. Please don’t leave your wallet in the car expecting him to pay.

15) Making the first move

A man likes to take the lead. If you find him cute and you’re attracted to him, don’t go in for the kill even after a few wines. Instead, let him make the first move and resist that temptation. Initiating the first kiss might show him that you are too forward and that you do this with other guys. Hold back and show him that you prefer him to take the lead.

16) Appreciation

A man likes to feel appreciated. You do this by thanking him and showing gratitude and interest in seeing him again. A man likes to know you are interested in him. The old saying play hard to get is a complete turn off for a real man.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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