Are you dating one of your parents?

Ever wondered what mysterious force drives us into the arms of one person while pushing us away from another?

The biggest reason we develop a type is largely due to our parents. Cringe all you like, but it’s true.

Ladies, the first man you ever fell in love with has a huge impact on the future, and boys, mum’s the word for you!  While this is great for some, it’s incredibly difficult for others.

Fathers influence every woman’s feelings about men.  If a father is cold and absent, his daughter will more than likely be physically drawn to an emotionally absent partner. This is extremely common with girls dating bad boys. According to the, We Have Kids website Pamela Thomas, author of Fatherless Daughters (a book that examines how women cope with the loss of a father via death or divorce), women who grew up with absent dads find it difficult to form lasting relationships.

Lucky for some women, they realise they will never get anywhere with a bad boy and bounce between the good and bad boys until they finally work out that they need a balance of both.

If a daughter has a warm and loving relationship with a father that’s very supportive, she will feel good about herself and be attracted to a more nurturing partner. This woman has the easiest road to travel. She often marries young and has a very balanced healthy relationship.

Similarly, for men, mothers leave an indelible impression on their sons. If a mother is warm and giving, as an adult, the man falls in love with a warm, giving woman. On the other hand, if your mother is a strong, even-tempered woman, you are more likely to seek a partner with similar qualities.

So if she is warm and kind, her sons are going to think that all women are that way. They will likely grow up warm and responsive lovers who are cooperative around the house.
If a man grows up with a negative outlook, it’s likely that his mother who with a volatile personality. In other words, sometimes she was friendly, but she also had the propensity to suddenly turn cold and rejecting. A man who grew up scared about receiving love and affection from his mother is more likely to be afraid of commitment.

Your choice of partner also involves other factors such as similar social similarities, For instance, a similar educational background, career goals families very much like our own.  We generally are attracted to someone similar to us. It’s what we are most comfortable with. Can you relate?

This is why many singles often need the help of a dating agency that can help them find suitable partners. Based on your past history and childhood finding a suitable partner can be challenging to say the least. Knowing yourself and your personality traits will play a pivotal role in meeting someone who accepts you exactly as you are. At Blue Label Life we come across people from all walks of life and stages in their life. They might have been recently divorced or suddenly out of a relationship in their ’50s and are struggling to find their feet in the dating world. Knowing your past and how it shapes your future is key to meeting a partner. Don’t ignore this and what previous life experiences have moulded you as a person.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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