Whether you’ve been in the dating scene long enough or just starting to see other people, there are certain maxims that remain constant. These classic dating rules continue to exist because they’ve been proven to make your dating life run smoothly. Keep these in mind and you’ll surely avoid committing social and dating suicide.
#10 Past is past.
Everybody has past. Bringing it up won’t change it nor is it a tad bit necessary. What do you hope to accomplish by dissecting every single bit of information which is considered history? Jealousy and pointless competition? Your dating history should highlight only your best, and although the best relationships are grounded on honesty, full disclosure might not be the best way to go. Your past is there to teach you things that you should NEVER do again in the future, not to show your date that you are a psycho. And one more thing: never badmouth an ex. Your current date may think you may do the same to them should your relationship end for some reason. That’s not really putting your best foot forward, right?
#9 Your date is not an icon of worship.
Never put them on a pedestal. That goes without saying that stalking is definitely out of the question. Give the other person room to breathe. Too much worshipping always ends in disaster. It may seem romantic to you, but to the other person, you are just another overbearing, desperate individual and they’d run off the first chance they get.
#8 Less is more.
Do not flood them with phone calls, e-mails, tweets, Facebook messages or tags, pokes, and other what-nots. I’m sure you might think they gestures are cute, but they are not. Always leave them wanting more. If you shower them with too much attention, they have the tendency to become lax and complacent. Do not initiate contact always; let them come to you once in a while.
#7 Never lead them on.
It is never good to play with someone’s feelings. You are not only doing them disservice but you are also wasting your time. Why spend effort and energy on something that you have no plans on pursuing in the long term or something that you think will not work out? Be a man (or woman) and stand up and walk away. Do not go on dates just so you could show your friends that you have a dating life.
#6 Do not be needy.
The other person shouldn’t be considered as the missing puzzle piece that you are looking for to complete you and provide for everything missing in your life. In order for any relationships to work, it requires two whole people and not two halves. You shouldn’t allow your relationship to define you but rather, you should bring definition to your relationship. Do not look for answers to your midlife crisis on your relationships, otherwise it’ll end up in disaster and resentment from both partners once your expectations and needs are not met.
#5 Never settle.
Especially for the ladies. Never make the mistake of settling for the first nice guy who comes your way. The whole point of dating is to find the person who best suits you, not the one whom you can describe as “He or she will do… for now”. It will never work out because there’s something more you’d always want from them which they cannot provide because they weren’t the best one for you in the first place.
#4 Do not rush things, especially sex.
We continue to exist in a fast-paced society where everything seems to be rushed. You are pressured to find the right partner, get married, have kids, and stay together forever. Relationships tend to develop at their own pace. The best timetable for you to have on when to act on things is your gut feeling. Wait until things feel right, rather than doing them just because they’re expected of you. Do not tell someone you love them because you think you’ve been dating long enough. Say it because you mean it.
So you think being friends with an ex after a break up is the mature thing to do? It probably is, but it isn’t the best course for you to take when you are seeing someone new. Do not hope and expect that you can remain close and friendly with an ex when you are starting a new relationship— it will only breed insecurity even in the most open-minded individuals. By all means, remain amiable with your exes but never let them linger around your new partner. Focus on your new man or woman.
#2 Do not discuss other men, or women.
You might still be in the early stages of your relationship and you might still want to swim in the sea before you get hooked and establish exclusivity with him or her, but never dangle other people you are seeing in front of your date. Be respectful and let them know that you’re dating others, but don’t go into the gory details. And men, never check out other women in your date’s presence. And never use others to stir up jealousy in the hopes of reviving excitement in a long-term relationship.
#1 Never lose yourself.
People tend to lose their identity and let themselves go once they’ve settled into a relationship. They get too comfortable that they no longer feel the need to impress their partners. They know you are a real person with real flaws, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to let things slide. Continue working on yourself and grow from your passions. After all, they got attracted to you because you are who you are, not a slob who settled into being the mirror of someone else.