How to love like you’re 20 again

Remember the good old days when you were young, free and it was easy to fall in love!? When women are in their 20s, they have a world of opportunities in front of them. These women are open to embracing everything and everyone. All we want is to be swept off our feet, fall in love and have sex! Our ‘ideal partner’ criteria generally consists of three boxes – Tall. Dark. Handsome.

As we get older, priorities naturally change. We become more independent, stronger, distracted by life’s challenges and our focus on love changes. We forget what it was like to love in our 20s, and we become closed. Our ‘ideal partner’ criteria is now a long list of non-negotiables. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Financially secure. Successful. Ambitious. Mature. Easygoing. Health-conscious. Active. Strong family values. Wants marriage. Wants children. Traditional. Confident. Well travelled. Well-groomed. Emotionally strong… And did we mention perfect?

As we get older, we tend we focus on the things we believe are related to love and forget what love is really about – attraction, connection, chemistry. The butterflies.

As a matchmaker, I’ve seen so many female clients reject compatible men based on the insignificant details they believe are the be-all-and-end-all of love. For example, “his hairline is receding”, “I didn’t like his shoes”, “he lives in the Eastern suburbs”, “he likes Rugby”, “he works in I”‘ and my personal favourite, “I don’t like the way he pronounces his H’s.”

Ladies, you will only find love if you are open.

Be open to every opportunity you are presented with and let go of what you believe a man should be. Expect the unexpected when it comes to love because once you break down those barriers and rip up your long list of non-negotiables, love will find you.

I’m not saying to scrap your criteria completely, but does he really have to match his belt with his shoe colour? Is a full head of hair really important when finding someone to grow old with (when you’ll probably both lose your hair anyway!). You certainly deserve someone who will look after you, respect you, has similar interests and the same future goals, but at least let it happen. Be open, bring out our inner child, remember to have fun and the most beautiful things in life are imperfect.

“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That’s what connects us; that we’re all broken, all beautifully imperfect.”


robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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