What do women want in a man?

Sensual and FreshEvery day I meet successful, stylish men who open up to me in a bid for clarity. What I’ve come to find is that most men, regardless of socio-economic status, experience the same kinds of drama when it comes to landing their hearts desire.

In case you hadn’t noticed, women are becoming more masculine – not in a Rosie O’Donnell sense, but masculine in terms of work persona. The onset of equal rights has placed added pressure for women to proverbially “wear the pants” in order to get ahead in the corporate world. More pants not only mean fewer skirts to chase, but also more confusion in the workplace.

I call this “Gender Confusion Syndrome”.

For women, it can be argued that corporate success comes at a price: The higher the position means the less chance of developing personal relationships with co-workers. Why? For starters, no man wants to date their boss. It’s emasculating. Secondly, woman have to maintain the wall which separates desire from reality in order to be respected, even if that means placing the proverbial “don’t-even-think-about-it” stamp on their forehead.

Guys have their own questions to answer. To be arrogant or humble, to be naughty or nice, and the classic; do nice guys finish last?

And so the chain of insecurity continues. We play games, games play us, and sooner or later you’re back to where you started, only more exhausted than before (and not the good kind).

The good news is with a little direction you can make an impact and capture the kind of woman you have always wanted. Following these simple, yet often incomprehensible guidelines could give you the ammunition you need to land the girl of your dreams.

1. Be intriguing

Fellas, it sounds simple enough, but come prepared with a few stories to tell. If you don’t have any, go find some! Team sports, camping, backpacking – whatever it is that interests you, get amongst it. The greatest storytellers of this world (think Jerry Seinfeld) practice their routine to a tee. I’m not saying stand in front of a mirror, but don’t be afraid to tell the same story to multiple women.

2. Be mysterious

Mystery is often associated with shyness, but they are two completely different beasts. You’re mysterious when you reveal selective information. You’re shy when you don’t reveal enough information.

3. Be good to your mum

Women love a man with good family values. Believe it or not, when you take her to meet the family, she will be keep an eye on how you interact with your mother and treat your sister. After all, it could be a glimpse into the future.

4. Keep your cool

Never sweat on the small stuff during a date! Stuck in traffic? That’s fine. Still waiting for your order to arrive? Hakuna Matata, your worries are free. Stress is a major turn off for all the obvious reasons. A girl loves to hear that everything will be ok.

5. Don’t dredge up the ex

Don’t even think about it. Not for a second. We all have a past. There’s no denying it. But as they say, the past is the past for a reason. Before you divulge your history and talk about how psychotic your ex is, ask yourself; “will this benefit my new relationship in any way?” Probably not. Also, never blame the ex or be a victim. It’s a huge turnoff!

6. Be persistent

Women love a determined man. Give up too early and any seed you once planted will eventually turn to weed. Sorry to break it you, but the girl of your dreams is probably the girl of someone else’s, too. Perseverance makes fate work for you.  Of course, there’s a line. If you want to know when you’ve crossed it, listen to this baboon.


7. Be Spontaneous

Think outside the square. You’re not the only guy who’s taken a girl out for a picnic in the park before. The best thing about new dating landscapes is that she will have no one to compare it too.

8. Listen to her friend

I started off writing that you should listen to her, but perhaps the most underestimated type of listening is hearing what her best friend has to say. At the end of the day, it’s the best friend that gives any relationship the final stamp of approval. So when he/she (you better hope it’s a she) meets you for the first time, be confident. Let him/her know you’re there, and whip out some of those stories I mentioned earlier.

9. Smell and look the part

Women love a man that smells good! Keep fresh, splash on some sexy cologne (a splash, not a puddle), have clean nails, breath and teeth. Keep your wardrobe updated, too. No need to be a fashion guru, just ensure your suit fits and your shirt is ironed. If in doubt, make friends with your local shop assistant for some style tips or better still, hire a stylist. It’s a big call, but if the girl is half the catch you tell your mates about, efforts must be doubled.

10. Be generous

No matter how successful women are, ALL women love to be looked after. And that isn’t just code for money.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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