Is Mr Big a waste of time?

Sarah Jessica Parker had one. Have you?

Mr Big is painted as a knight in shining armour. A successful, emotionally unavailable man that fills SJP’s life with hope and adventure, only to leave her shattered on all kinds of levels.

He’s an unhealthy addiction.  The minute she showed interest, he would run for the hills. And when she pulled away, he would chase her down.

Sound familiar?

The Carrie and Mr Big fiasco is a relationship (or “relationsink”) for the ages.  It kept Sex And The City fans glued to their seat, waiting in anticipation. Surely one day this man will come and rescue her!

He never did.

[Spoiler Alert] Yes, he did ultimately marry her, but at what cost? After 10 years riding the emotional roller coaster and countless broken promises, a mountain of heartache and hours of counselling from her friends, it all became too much for SJP. And like all tragic relationsink’s, their journey together went down the drain.

With every premature divorce, there are consequences. Did she miss out on having a family? Did she miss out on a comfortable lifestyle? Was it worth it? It makes you wonder, what would have happened if she cut-to-the-chase and settled with a non-player; a nice family man like Aidan (fans will testify to this).

I know they’re only a small screen couple, but let’s be honest; Mr Big is real. We’ve all met him, some of us are with him, and some of us may even be him. It kind of makes you wonder, what kind of message did the creators of Sex And The City send to misty-eyed romantics looking for their Mr Right?

 Is Mr Big a waste of time? - blue label life

Stuck in a Mr Big style relationship? Not good !! You might need a matchmaker to help you out of this rut.

I ask this question because I’ve seen “big” pattern emerging among women – incredible women who have painted a glorified picture of a successful man in their minds only to have him proverbially rip the sheets from underneath their bed of dreams.

Was it something they did? Something they said? Something they should have said? These are the questions we as people ask ourselves over and over again, and before we know it, a decade has rolled by and we are none the wiser.

Truth is, the perfect man simply does not exist. If he did, we’d all by vying for his attention. Yet, we continue to believe that our knight in shining armour is just around the corner.

Take it away, Carrie’s of this world:

Carrie:  “I know that it is all about timing. He isn’t ready yet, but I know I will end up with him”.

“I love how unpredictable he is. He’s spontaneous – a real challenge!”

And how about you, Mr Bigs?

Mr Big:  “She’s always there waiting for me. I know I don’t have to commit to her. She will always be there.”

“Why buy milk when you can have the cow for free!”

“We have an unspoken understanding of what this is.”

In my opinion, Mr Big is and continues to be an invitation for powerful men to be non-committal. And as long as we continue to see this behaviour as exciting, many of our relationships are destined to sink before it gets a chance to set sail.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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