People who are single and are out there dating will know how their date should end.
Some people are pretty happy to call it quits after a long night, and others feel that if the chemistry is there, then sex could be on the cards.
Society has answered the question for many people, and there is this negative connotation associated with sex on a first date. It’s almost taboo if you have sex on the first date, then your somehow a bad person.
Well, this is wrong!
The Sydney Morning Herald says that “I don’t believe in rules when it comes to dating. The only rules people should stand by are whether they align with your values and your goals.”
There is no set in stone rules for sex on a first date. In fact, at Blue Label Life, we feel that chemistry should dictate, and this is why Sleeping with someone on the first date is not a bad thing.
That said, it varies between individuals, and if men push too hard, they may turn the women off, and vice versa if the women are too flirtatious, the men might pull away.
It has to be a unanimous decision, and both of you will know if when the time is right.
You might have both started the date with the intention of a simple meet and greet, but the dynamics can swiftly change if there is a strong connection and you both seriously fancy each other.
Again, this is not a bad thing and nothing to be ashamed of; it’s just something that happens. Blame hormones, testosterone, whatever, it happens, and it’s part of the dating cycle. Waiting for the fourth, fifth or even tenth date is a tad old fashioned and if people want sex – give it to them without this gloomy stigma that is somehow the worst thing in the world.
And, this is not to say that the relationship goes sour after the sex. It may help improve it, and the following are reasons why sex on a first date is a bloody good idea!
It’s 2021, and if you have the opportunity for good sex, I say go for it – there’s nothing to be ashamed about.
Reasons why SEX on a first date is a good idea
1. You meet the real person.
You might be in front of a timid or nerdy guy, and you want to see what lies behind the facade. Conversely, the guy might be dating nervous women and wants to see what her real persona is like. Sex answers all these questions very quickly. You drop your guard and let your natural person show, even it’s for a couple of hours, giving the other person an actual perspective of who you are. So, rather than ten dates and putting all this effort in to get to know the person, sex narrows the time frame down considerably.
2. Check their place
By going back to their place, you gain so many valuable insights into their life. What does their home look like, are they into books, music, do they have pets, kids, is it messy or are they mega loaded with money? You can answer all these questions swirling in your mind before the two of you hit the bedroom. If you like their home, lifestyle, and sex, you could be on the way to a relationship winner.
3. Avoid the game players
The dating world can be full of game players. Plus, there are all these questions do they like me, what are they thinking etc. Sex eliminates this quickly. Remember when you were in your 20’s and sex on a date wasn’t such a bad thing? Well, why did it disappear? Dating should be fun, and adding the sex element can be part of the process. It radically reduces those awkward moments as you progress on your dating path as you both have got the sex part over and done with. There are no mixed messages, and you are both on the same page. It also clears the path for the two of you to get to know each other better.
4. Take the good with the bad
The sex might not have lived up to your expectations. It might have failed dismally. But, at least you know now rather than putting in all the effort only to be disappointed months down the track. Its economies of scale. Think about all the lost opportunities you’ve missed while dating this person. Sex is critical in any relationship, and if it’s not up to scratch for you, you don’t have to see them again. And, your not left wondering what she or he was like in bed. You’ve had it, and now it’s time to move on and find a partner more to your liking.
5. It’s excellent for your health
Use it or lose it & get those heart muscles pumping! Sex does wonders for your health, so if both of you are ok, first date sex has many benefits for your overall health. So long as you get past the mental stigma associated with first date sex, then you’ll be fine.
6. Who said one night stands were terrible?
Since when is denying our natural urges a bad thing? Who put these rules there in the first place? If the two of you want to have a fling, then enjoy it. There is this deep-seated unacceptable badge associated with ONS, but at the back of most peoples mind when they meet for the first time is the question; what will they be like in bed? We all think it and denying this fact is a lie. It’s not such a big deal. It’s only sex, and if the two of you like each other after the act; even better.
Don’t overthink it. Don’t question it. Go with the flow, and you’ll enjoy dating so much more. Don’t start the date thinking that you will have a one night stand or sex as you have to respect the other person’s boundaries. If the chance arises, then think back to when you were a teenager and keep that mindset.
Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.