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How does Your Birth Order Affect Your Relationships?

How does Your Birth Order Affect Your Relationships?

How does your birth order affect your relationship? Did you know that your birth order or positioning in the family can shape your personality and therefore, affect your decisions? According to William Cane, author of The Birth Order Book of Love, “Your personality is directly related on how you interact with other people”. Evidently, your first experience in interaction is with your family, that is, your parents and your siblings.

Your birth order not only forms your personality but it naturally affects your romantic relationship as well. The sibling ranking commonly comprises of firstborn, middle child, lastborn and only child and researchers agree that each ranking has unique and differing traits, each has its own strengths and weaknesses. So figuring out your birth order as well as your significant other can help you predict compatibility. Yes, you can find your perfect match by just learning about his or her family’s birth order of hierarchy.

Birth order plays a big role in relationships, it can help you to understand others which will help you deal with potential conflict that may arise between you and your partner. So how does birth order affect relationships?Birth order


Naturally, firstborns are overwhelmed with love and attention being the first child in the family. They tend to be ambitious, aggressive and controlling, “Firstborns like to be in control” according to William Cane. They are organized and are natural born leaders. Oldest sons enjoy recognition who wants to do things their way, on the other hand, oldest daughters are bossy and confident compared to their younger siblings.

Middle Child

The middle child is stuck in the middle, therefore they tend to mediate, perceived as good communicators between their bossy older siblings and the needy younger ones. But they are characterized as rebellious and secretive, who don’t usually share their feelings. Their strength relies in the fact that they are flexible, sociable and they compromise well with others. Plus, they are independent!


Who can resist the charmer in the family? The lastborn children are usually labeled as spoiled because they are not only taken care of their parents but their older siblings as well. They almost always get what they want and are less responsible compared to the older siblings. But take notice, that they are very affectionate and engaging, sweet creatures who love to be the center of attention.

Only Child

The only children of the family are pampered and precious, thus they are used to having all the attention. But they tend to be mature and responsible. Their personalities can develop uniquely due to their lack of siblings compared to those who grew up and compete with their siblings.

After discussing the different birth orders, let us see who perfectly matches who! You’ll see how your birth order affects your relationships, there is a science behind it.

Oldest with Oldest

Two firstborns often clash with each other! They are both domineering who both want to control the situation. This combination may fight over simple things like what movie to watch or where to go on a date. They have both strong personalities making the relationship intense. The best thing to do to survive this relationship is to consider compromise to understand each other.

Oldest with Middle

A great pair! But because the middle children are so used to compromising she may feel too comfortable with a knowledgeable and controlling partner that she might lose sight of her own interests and goals. If you are the middle child continually seek ways to improve and your partner who is a firstborn should be there to encourage you and make you be better.

Oldest with Youngest

This can actually be a win-win combination because the pair tend to take care of each other well. Someone who wants to be in control and someone who needs attention. Their needs and personality usually click!

Middle with Middle

Dr. Salmon Even says, “In studies of marital satisfaction, middle children fare best all around.” The only problem that may arise is with communication because middle children are secretive. The best relationship tip would be to have frequent conversations about your relationship and your goals.

Middle with Youngest

This can be a pretty good match. The middle who loves to compromise and negotiate and the youngest who loves to seek attention but is a social butterfly. They both can learn from each other and can eventually make things work.

Youngest with Youngest

While this pairing can be a lot of fun, having carefree, charming and sociable individuals, a problem may arise when both of the youngest refuse to take any responsibility. Who’s in charge? The best way to survive this kind of relationship is to have a balance of everything, try to have a division of workload and take responsibility!

Only Child with Anyone

Only children are most likely to be compatible with any birth order type as long as the partner can determine the dominating characteristics of the only child.Birth order

So there you have it, you now can see how your birth order affects your relationships.

A rewarding romantic relationship isn’t easy to come by. Like any other relationships, it needs a lot of dedication, effort and understanding. The birth order can do only as much as making you understand your partner more or finding a partner you can deal with. Still, relationships need two people who are constantly working together with love and respect for each other in order to make any relationship last.

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