Many single men and women write to me expressing confusion, uncertainty and frustration regarding the whole dating scene. Their stories are often filled with tales of broken dates, unanswered emails and/or phone calls and guys just disappearing for no apparent reason. They are looking for answers about what qualities the opposite sex look for when choosing a partner to date, and what single professionals really want from their relationships. and want to know what single Most of all, they want to know how to find and build mutually satisfying and lasting relationships.
It’s been said that in order to know where you’re going, you must first acknowledge where you have been. Below are five turn-offs that have single handedly led to the demise of relationships all around the world. Avoid these habits and happiness awaits!
Turn-offs for women:
1. The Ear Plug
Most women judge how important they are to their partner by how much attention they receive when expressing their concerns and opinions, or when asking for advice.
2. The Wannabe Big-Shot
Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am”. Women are appalled by men who talk a big game knowing they do not have the means to follow through.
3. The Chauvinist
Despite what women accomplish and contribute to society, there are still men who act as if they are the superior sex. Some, for example, have a belittling title for every woman. The cashier is little lady. The waitress is darling. And the bartender is sweet cheeks.
4. The Self-Admirer
A woman sitting across the table listening to her date gab about his university GPA, the sports he played, his stellar performance at work, and his new investment ideas is usually not impressed.
5. The Cheese Ball
Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach; pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a cheesy pickup line, she will shoot you down. It’s best to just say “Hi I’m Bob. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines. On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation. Nothing more, nothing less.
Turn-offs for men:
1. The Silent Assassin
Most women have a tendency to use “silent” treatment when they are hurt or angry with their partner. They put on a cold front and refuse to reply in a normal manner. Men are much happier to be with a woman who is willing to talk out their issues.
2. The Nagger
Men prefer women who talk through their concerns, just so long as they don’t nag about every little problem. Most men complain about the hard time they have contending with the continuous complaints and scorns that their wife dishes out in the name of “self improvement”. Women on the other hand have no clue what the fuss is all about, after all they are only trying to “improve” their man.
3. The Potty Mouth
Sure, everyone utters the odd cuss word when they slam their finger in a door, but do not litter your first date with swearing or crude sexual references. It may be old fashioned, but men tend to like ‘ladylike’ behaviour, at least to begin with. Save the naughty stuff for when you know him better.
4. The Ex Factor
Information about your ex should be kept to a strictly need-to-know basis. Throwing his name around on your first date is going to send any prospective suitor running for the hills. Men like to imagine they are the only ones who’ve ever rocked your world, even if they know it is unlikely to be true!
5. The Does-My-Butt-Look-Big-In-This
No one’s saying you have to strut around like Paris Hilton or one of the Kardashians, but if a guy compliments you, just say thank you nicely. Responding “But my butt’s HUGE!” makes a guy feel like he can’t win. It also implies you are not exactly sparkling with inner-confidence.
Have a relationships-based question? Want a man’s perspective?