What to do if your date talks about themselves too much

Striking up and maintaining substantial conversations during a date is essential.

Talking helps you get to know your date and a good conversation is the core of a great dating experience.

If there’s one skill to help you survive the dating scene, it’s the art of conversation. You need to be able to master it. Unfortunately, for some, this art is lost. People are generally egotistical and so essentially, everybody wants to draw attention to themselves. This hunger for attention is brought into their conversations, which can be quite common among those who are trying to make a good impression on their dates. They just simply talk too much about themselves!

Also read: How To Have A Spectacular First Date?

Why are some people conversational narcissists in the first place? Everyone has surely experiences that itch where you couldn’t wait for someone to stop talking just so you could butt in. Almost all of us are guilty of monopolizing conversations and making everything about us. But some people tend to talk a lot during dates primarily because they’re actually nervous. They’re anxious to avoid any gaps during the conversation and so they feel compelled to fill it in by talking A LOT. Although, how much talk is considered as too much talk is a matter of opinion.

So how do you deal with compulsive talkers on your date? Well, a great conversation relies on cooperation, not competition. And you couldn’t obviously just excuse yourself and disappear, so here are a few ways to deal with a date who talks too much.

Be a good listener instead. How Stuff Works tells us that just as important as asking great, open-ended questions is how you listen to your date when he or she is talking. Maybe you should consider yourself lucky and take this as an opportunity to be a good listener. You may ask a lot of questions and pay attention to the answers because you can learn a lot about your date.

Be less intimidating. One of the reasons why your date may be talking too much is because they sense that you are quite hard to impress and so they need to build up themselves in front of you. Maybe you are doing something that makes someone nervous and extra-talkative. Just relax and enjoy the date.

Shift the conversation politely. Don’t just comment at the end of their sentence. Introduce some experience of your own—like a “Me too!” experience. Get them interested in you with the memory of a similar event, feeling, or funny story. Chances are, the focus of the conversation will shift to you.

Take control. Although it is rude to interrupt, it is also equally rude to just sit there and drift off while the other person talks. Maybe another reason why your date is talking too much is that you aren’t contributing anything to the conversation. Take the initiative to open up a topic or give your opinion on your date’s thoughts.

Conversations require a minimum of two people and a balanced one involves two people who each have an equal opportunity to talk and listen. After all, it takes two to tango!

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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