Let’s be honest. Dating can be hard work, time-consuming, and draining of energy.
Add to this being a single parent, and it’s enough to make you want to throw in the towel and call it a day. After all, you’ve been single this long; what is another couple of years?
Well, I’m here to tell you that, as a single parent, you can still date, find true love, and make a proper connection here in Melbourne. This city is full of opportunities and potential partners who understand and appreciate the unique journey of single parenthood.
Following these tips is the first step in the right direction.
1) Allocate time: Yes, I know this is hard with kids’ school pick-up and weekend sports games and parties, but you have to be realistic about finding someone, and you will need to allocate, say, one hour per week. At this time, you can either network online, use dating apps, or start by engaging the services of a dating agency in Melbourne that will act on your behalf and help find you a partner. Creating space and time for yourself helps you take stock of your situation and know that you are creating something positive for yourself. Remember, you owe it to yourself, and the happier you are, the more you have to offer your children.
2) Have some fun! Dating can be fun. If you enjoy meeting new people, it can be intoxicating. If you’ve been recently divorced and looking to meet new people, then dating is the answer. But try to have a little fun and limit the negative thoughts that can pop into your head before the date. Only some people you meet will be Mr or Mrs perfect, so remember it’s a numbers game. Some dates will be fun, and others will be average. Just go in with a fun attitude and see what happens. You will find the connection when the time is ready, and the right person comes along. And, know that Melbourne has some fantastic cafes for a first date, so utilise this home city advantage.
3) Set strict boundaries. Your kids are just that. They are not your friends and should not be privy to every date and feedback whenever you meet someone. Share only age-appropriate information, and try not to rush and introduce someone you like to the children. Keep the two separate until you feel you have a strong, committed connection. You might also like your children’s opinions on meeting someone new. You might not like what you hear, but at least you can gauge their feelings and potential reaction if you bring someone new home. Relationships Australia has a great article about this topic, and it expands on this topic and basically tells us that while some children feel relief when their parents separate, most want their parents to reconcile. So they can feel hurt, jealous, betrayed, resentful, sad or even angry when their parents start – or want to start – dating again. To children, this may be when they realise that the separation is permanent, and it can create feelings of distress or sadness.
4) Don’t be desperate. Set standards and don’t serial date in the hope of finding that diamond in the rough. Date only those people you feel are suitable for you, which means having the right demographic and socio-economic situation and someone who doesn’t mind you having kids. Attraction is essential and can develop over time. Try to choose people who have parenting styles similar to yours and someone you can work with as a team.
5) Be Honest. Honesty is always the best policy for yourself and your potential partner. Tell them upfront that you have children and that your dating calendar can be tricky, especially if babysitters are involved and also if you have strong political or religious views. In that case, it’s best to let them know sooner rather than later so you’re not too invested in the relationship where feelings have developed.
These are just five simple tips to follow on your dating journey. But if you need extra help or date coaching, please call Robyn from Blue Label Life, who can help you navigate the tricky Melbourne dating path.
