When things aren’t exactly working the way you hope they would in your dating life, you might be committing some of these mistakes without even knowing it.
Bringing up your ex more than necessary.
So what’s the norm when it comes to talking about your ex? The answer would be NONE because the past should remain in the past and there would really be no substantial reason as to why your ex should come up in your conversations with your current date. But should the inevitable question about your past relationships come up, simply respond with “I learned from it and have moved on since then”. GQ in their article How to talk about your ex with your new partner tells us that talking about your ex with your new partner is treacherous waters.
Making it all about you.
Sure, your date might be interested to know more about you. But they’d like for you to ask about them too. You should open yourself up, but so should the other person too. But that can’t happen if all the communication is only coming from your end. Try to if you can switch the topic over to them and ask tehm about their ex and past relationships. People love totalk so this is the perfect opportunity to let them have the stage. If pushed for an answer try to not be overly aggressive about your ex. Rememeber you’ve got the stage now and your audience will be judging you by your next comments.
Carrying excess baggage.
You easily boast of having moved on but you can sometimes be unaware that you keep on bringing up your past. The point it, you may share your baggage when appropriate and when reciprocated— but it should always be left at the door when you are starting to see someone new.
While honesty is a sought-after trait, pouring out everything in your heart and soul to the person you are seeing doesn’t make them your date. Rather, you are turning them into a therapist and your date a therapy session. Yes it might be difficult to not talk about your ex especially, if the topic is bought up but try to have a certan level of self control and discipline. Be aware that everything you say will be processed byt the other person; so be acutley alert to your comments about your ex. If it’s the first date try to change the topic. A little mystery never hurt anyone.
Thinking that it’s all about chemistry.
While chemistry plays a role in attraction and the success of any relationship, it takes many forms and each of which has to align in both individuals for a love connection to happen. You must have physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual chemistry. It’s never enough to be physically attracted alone because looks can only go as far.
Also read: The Chemistry, Behind How We Fall In Love?
Next time you are dating someone, keep these pointers in mind and do a double check once you sense that you might be committing one of these.