The essential selection criteria in a partner for true happiness.


The essential selection criteria in a partner for true happiness.

                More often than not, we imagine ourselves with someone who can gain the approval of the multitude. And that’s where we fall into the trap of basing our standards on how other people will perceive us by our choices rather than what we truly desire in the other person. In the end, we only gain superficial happiness when we do meet the person who satisfies our baseless standards. So look into the things that make you happy first, and seek that out in the other person.

Genuine happiness derived from being in a relationship with your significant half mostly relies on those things that really matter to each of you. It’s no longer about having the same taste in music or food. It’s beyond physical attraction even. And if there was a selection criterion that may guarantee true happiness in both partners, you may just have found it here.

                Connection and compatibility. This isn’t about having similar interests when it comes to movies, restaurants, or hobbies. For you to truly have a connection with your partner, you both need to share the same set of values and beliefs. They are guiding principles that basically govern your life, so it’s easier if your partner lives by them too. Conflicting values and beliefs can sow disagreements that go deeper and could end up driving your relationship to the ground.

                Emotional availability. The ability to share feelings is indispensable in any relationship. He or she should be able to open up to you and vice versa. Staying with a person from whom you need to beg for scraps of attention and affection is the worst thing you can do to yourself. He or she should be very open in expressing his or her devotion to you and is consistent at it. More importantly, you should find someone who makes you feel good every time you express your emotions to them and reciprocates them in a heartbeat.

                Potential for personal growth. Your partner should be the kind of person you sense can become a better person or who works on himself or herself to be one. This only comes with having an awareness of themselves. Find someone who recognizes their strengths as well as their flaws. Someone who has goals for self-improvement and you see positive changes happening over time.

                Integrity and trustworthiness.   Integral in any relationship is the ability to rely on the integrity of your partner and trust them wholeheartedly. Truth and honesty fosters a healthy relationship— individuals borne from a healthy relationship are happy people as well. You either trust your partner or not; it’s as instinctive as that. If he or she doesn’t make you feel secure in every aspect, the fear of relationship breakdown is always looming around you. It then breeds distrust and discord. So look for someone who you can trust with your life.

                Level of maturity and responsibility. You know what they say— you can grow old but you can choose to be immature forever. It’s inevitable for people to grow old but to grow up is an entirely different notion. To gauge someone’s level of maturity and responsibility, look into how he or she looks after himself or herself physically, emotionally, financially, and socially. He or she should also be mindful of and respectful of your choices, time, possession, and boundaries you set. Without maturity or a sense of responsibility, you will basically look after a child even before you have your own!

                Healthy amount of self-esteem. If your partner generally feels good about himself or herself, that energy will rub off on you. It is quite exhausting to be with someone who constantly belittles themselves and relies on you to make them feel better. Go for someone who is already happy with who or what they are. Then the two of you can begin to focus your energies on bringing forth positive vibes rather than hoarding negative ones.

                Attitude towards life. One of the beauties in having a partner is having someone you can rely on. In order to fully enjoy this privilege, you need to choose a partner who knows how to work his or her way around life in general. That person most likely has a positive attitude towards life. They are the ones who are capable of turning difficulties into opportunities and mistakes into lessons. They are the game-changers and believe that things will always work out for the better. And when everything is all about positivity, true happiness follows.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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