Who should pay on the first date?

Stock PhotoOk, so you’re having a great time on date. Conversation’s flowing. You’re feeling all tingly. Butterflies are brewing. You can’t wait to get to know more. You can’t wait to kiss her. Touch her. Please her. The anticipation is intense. And just when you’re both catching the love bug, the unthinkable happens: the waitress brings over the bill. You both eye each other for what feels like an eternity, before racing for the reach. She insists on paying her share. Of course, you’re not going to let that happen because you’re the perfect gentlemen.

And so it begins; the age-old debate about who should pay what on the first date.

Wouldn’t it be easier to pre-pay? What happens if the wine’s a bit pricy and the bill is more than expected? You think, it would be nice if she contributed. After all, it’s 2010. What good are equal rights if they’re never put in effect? What do you do?

Fellas, the options are as follows:

Option A: You crack under pressure and let her contribute. But that could mean you will never see her again. We all know women expect men to be psychic. Just because they say something, doesn’t mean it’s what they actually want.

Option B: Insist on paying the bill. Now one of two things can happen. She will either feel satisfied and looked-after, or she will be offended.

My advice: Just pay the bill. Plan ahead and make sure you pick a restaurant you’re comfortable with. A nice touch is getting dessert elsewhere. Share an ice cream on a walk. Grab a glass of wine/night-cap afterwards. If she really wants to pay, let her contribute these ways. No matter how successful she is, she will really appreciate being looked after.
The benefits of paying on your first date:

1. It shows you’re a leader. A man’s natural instinct is to provide. It’s a very good start to securing a relationship.

2. It shows that you’re easygoing. You’re not worried about money or the three figure bills that go along with having a good time. All you care about is her. As Shakespeare says; “the rest is silence”.

3. Chivalry is king. Looking after her will show your gentleman side. That means being in her friends’ good books when she tells them. And yes, she will tell them if you don’t pay.

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Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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