How to Move On From Infidelity

Relationships fail every day. Some people just don’t work out together.

Hearts are broken everywhere. But the worst heartbreak of all comes from being cheated upon.

Whether you walked in on your partner with someone else or read a flirtatious text or email, the hurt and betrayal hurt a lot. Clearly, the relationship is over. But how do you move on when you are being held back by crippling self-doubt on what you could have possibly done to deserve such.

Here are some things to help you move forward.

#1 Never look at yourself to blame.

Your initial reaction might include endless questioning of how it could have been your fault why he/she cheated on you. Maybe you were emotionally unavailable. Maybe you’ve let go of yourself. Maybe you were suffocating him/her. You should stop yourself right there. NEVER accept responsibility for their actions. Cheaters are 100% responsible for their behaviour. Psychology Today has a great article called why Does Your Partner Constantly Cheat? They tell us that Gaslighters and narcissists are chronic cheaters. It doesn’t matter how “good” of a partner you are, or how much of your life you’ve devoted to them (because they demanded it). They will still cheat.

#2 Quit searching for an explanation.

Don’t try to make sense out of nonsense. There is no justification for cheating. Yes, you love him/her and you might go into rationalizing their cheating behaviour, but like what was said before—no matter the reason, cheating is never acceptable.

Also read: Tips to help you start dating after a break-up

#3 Do something with your time.

People have this notion that time heals all wounds. Well, not entirely. You just can’t expect to wake up one day feeling all better without doing anything. You just can’t lie on your bed and expect the universe to give you a fresh start. It is YOU—you have to decide to move on. It is what you do during the time you are reeling from the heartbreak that will ultimately help you achieve freedom from the hurt that anchors you down. The famous talk show host Oprah Winfrey tells us n the blog piece How to Manifest Anything You Want or Desire that ‘Even though manifesting is about turning your dreams into reality, it does require that you take proactive steps toward whatever it is you desire—so you shouldn’t expect it to happen instantly or overnight while you sleep’.

#4 Don’t bottle it up.

Seek the support of family and friends. Share your experience with a trusted person and let them help you go through the process of moving on. They are a welcome distraction. When you’ve been holed up in someone’s life for some time, it will be helpful to reconnect with loved ones and feel cherished once again.

#5 Do not backslide.

If you are trying to move on one step at a time, don’t be tempted to take two steps back. Remove yourself from anything that reminds you of your past relationship. Cutting ties doesn’t make you bitter, it makes you smart. Never hang on to someone who only considers you as an option.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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