Happiness takes work and doesn’t just come to you.
Many people think that happy people are born this way but in fact, they have worked on their happiness to get them through down periods.
You should get “life”.
Knowing how life works are one of your best weapons to weather through anything life may throw at you. Learn the rules of the game and play by those rules. Understand and accept that life can be unfair sometimes but your fate lies in your hands, so make things work for you instead of working around things. To become successful in any endeavour, you will need a strategy. Harvard Business Review tells us to Create a Strategy for Your Life.
Also Read: What Really Makes A Relationship Work?
You are accountable for the results of your actions.
There are plenty of things and people that can affect the kind of life you have, but ultimately you are in control of your own destiny. So whatever outcome results from actions is solely upon you and YOU alone. Never make your past an excuse for your present or a predictor of your future. Take matters into your own hands and steer the course of your own destiny. The bottom line is whatever you are feeling and experiencing right now is the direct effect of the choices you make.
Gain something from everything.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Life is pretty much a cause and effect. What you get out of it is in direct proportion to what you put into your life. Even your disappointments and low points contribute to your person— mistakes teach you the valuable lesson of what to NEVER do again. So whether it’s a positive or negative experience, take away something good from it.
Change starts from accepting your flaws.
Say, for example, you do not and cannot acknowledge that you are obese. Then you don’t do anything about it. You cannot change something that you do not consider real. Seek out the flaws and areas of improvement in your life, accept them, and work on them. Look at where you are in your life right now and whether you like what you are seeing. If not, acknowledge the biting reality and move on.
Life has a reward system.
You’ve got to walk the talk. All words and no actions are futile. Thinking that you will change your negative behaviours is a far cry from actually changing those behaviours. Translate your ideas into purposeful action. Everyone has the potential to lead a full, meaningful life. But unless you act upon that potential, it remains an inert possibility with no visible results. If you want the car moving, start the engine!
You are what you perceive.
There are many versions of the world’s reality but only one of your perceptions. And this sole world view of yours directs all your thoughts and actions. So be careful how you perceive the world. Change the way you look at the things and people around you. In every situation, your reaction can become a choice. When faced with problems, you have the option to win over them or just accept defeat. Filter your world in a way that your interpretations, responses, and how people respond to you are all in a positive way.
Manage your expectations.
Life is much like a disease with a lot of different prognoses. There are some illnesses that have no cure, and just like cancer in your life, aim to improve your outcomes and not merely eradicate the disease. It is next to impossible. Learn to accept that things will not always work out the way you planned it, so have a backup plan. Have a strategy on how to effectively manage your life to turn things in your favour. Develop skills that will counter your difficulties and compensate for what you don’t have.
You can change the way people react to you.
We are mostly driven by how we think people perceive us. Psychology Today expands on this point further and says other People’s Perceptions Of Us Can Be a Surprising Mirror
We aim to please those who are around us and hope that we can accomplish them for everyone. But it is frustrating and impossible to please everyone. But you can influence how they behave and respond to you. Simply treat people how you want to be treated in return. If you aim to be respected, extend the same courtesy to others. If you realize this, you also acknowledge that you are partly responsible for how people behave around you. If you want to change how they are towards you, change how you are towards them too.
Forgive your past and forgive yourself.
Self-blame is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Negative emotions like anger, resentment, and hate do nothing but destroy your resilience and hope. They contaminate all aspects of your life and change them for the worse. So be more forgiving— set yourself free from the bondage of your past and from relationships that burden you. They say only the strongest people are capable of forgiveness, so find your inner strength to forgive yourself.
Know what you want and work on it.
Not setting goals in life is like drifting aimlessly in an endless sea. Once you know the kind of path you want to take, it becomes easier to dedicate your life’s work to reach your destination rather than explore so many paths and end up nowhere. Be very specific about what you want so that the choices you make are all geared towards achieving those. Dream big but don’t lose sight of reality. Never settle for anything less than what you deserve and what you are capable of. Claim it and it’s yours!