The dating world is full of anticipation and often disappointment; you are constantly questioning yourself and wondering if what you are doing is right.
The amount of time that we all spend reading and re-reading text messages, composing responses and dialing numbers only to lose confidence and hang up is far greater than is necessary. The biggest blow of all, however, is when you are sure you have played the situation perfectly; you have sent a witty message, you felt like you clicked on your first date you tried to follow it up but your date doesn’t call you back. What do you do now?
Here are 5 tips for when your date doesn’t call you back:
1. Don’t Blame Yourself
The worst thing you can do is start picking at your self esteem, looking for faults in your actions and doubting your abilities. If you have only just started seeing someone and already they are forcing you to beat yourself up then maybe they are not worth it and this is just a sign of things to come. However maybe you just need to relax, do what you can and then leave it at that.
2. Don’t Overreact
So you’ve called them once and they still haven’t returned the call, don’t panic about this. Flat batteries, weekend escapes and a busy professional life have been known to get in the way of a returned phone call.
Don’t immediately assume they are ignoring you and don’t jump to the conclusion that they have moved on. One of the biggest mistakes you can make at the beginning of a potential relationship is coming across as either desperate or controlling.
Sending follow up texts or leaving long voicemails asking where they are, what they are doing and why they aren’t returning your calls is almost a guaranteed relationship ender. Play it cool and don’t assume the worst.
If three days has passed without any response it is ok to send a light follow up text asking how they are and if they got your call but anymore than that and you’ve gone too far.
3. Redirect Your Energy
To prevent yourself from obsessing redirect your energy into other things. Keep your mind occupied by going out with your friends, catching up on missed TV episodes and continue to improve yourself. Why not start a new DIY project?
If they are not going to call back then it’s their loss, and if they do then you can tell them all about your new surfing hobby! Who knows how long it will be before you are in a relationship, take advantage of the time you have to yourself and enjoy doing some of those great single person activities.
4. Don’t Take Yourself Off the Market
It is really important to keep going out, socializing and dating. It is often hard to find time to do this when you are a professional trying to balance work and love so when you get the chance don’t pass on it to wait for a phone call. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, go out and see if you can find yourself a better looking, more inviting basket that knows how to use a phone, somewhere else.
5. Give them a Second Chance
It would obviously be wonderful for everything to run smoothly like the movies but this is a rare occurrance.
That is why when it comes to dating you need to be both flexible and forgiving. If you really want something and you feel a connection with someone you need to understand that people are fallible and make mistakes.
Be generous with you forgiveness and be optimistic about each relationship. If they don’t immediately call you back giving them the benefit of the doubt doesn’t make you a fool it makes you certain of what you want and it means you are willing to put yourself out there to get it. You never know, it might just be worth it.
Remember that you time is valuable, and you don’t want to waste it waiting around for someone to call you. So if your date doesn’t call you back get back on the horse and see what else is out there, if they do call you back then all you’ve done is provided yourself with options.