You might just have come out of a rocky relationship or maybe it’s been a while since you’ve been in one. You’re wondering whether you’ll have a shot at love again. But you are hesitant to get back in the game for fear of losing again. You don’t think or feel you’ll ever be ready again. But everyone around you is telling you it’s high time you get yourself out there because you might be missing out on “the one”.
Your previous relationships teach you valuable experiences, and unless you heed those lessons, you’ll keep on committing the same mistakes (and heartaches) again. It can be quite disheartening to go out in the playing field once you’ve suffered a loss. You might find plenty of reasons to discourage and demotivate yourself– that is what losers do and you should get rid of that habit.
But how can you gauge your readiness to date again? Here are a few key questions you should answer before you get back in the love field.
Do you still hold any attachment with your past relationships or partners?
People get defensive when asked this question because answering YES would mean weakness. If you recently went through a break up, it is perfectly normal that you would still be hung up on it and on your ex. But if it’s been quite some time and you still occasionally check out their Facebook profile, follow their tweets, or send generic messages in the hopes they would respond, then you are most definitely not over your past.
In order to start anew, you have to leave the past behind. It may be easier said than done, but it can be done. All you need to have is the will to let go of what didn’t work and open yourself up to the chance of something that might work.
Do you really know yourself? Do you like the person you’ve come to know?
Accepting one’s self does not come easy for many. We are often the biggest critics of ourselves. But loving and liking yourself is a lifelong process that is essential in order to form meaningful relationships with the opposite sex. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, you wouldn’t find that much comfort with another person. You have to feel complete on your own, otherwise you’d always be seeking validation from others and allowing them define who you are.
Do you just want to be in a relationship out of desperation?
Romance and love are a few of the things in life that you can’t force. It has to come naturally. In order for that to happen, you have to allow it to flow freely in your life. Don’t feel too pressured that the next person you date should be the one. Date because you are excited with the idea of it and it makes you feel happier and whole, instead of thinking of it as something you have to ‘comply’ with. Having a relationship isn’t a deadline you have to beat. There’s no finish line in as much as there’s no gunfire to signal the race.
Getting back in the dating game is never easy. You have the tendency to live in the past instead of opening yourself up for the endless possibilities the future holds.
There isn’t really much point in sitting around, excessively musing things over.