Mending A Broken Heart in Ten Steps

Heartbreak sells. Just look at the countless novels, movies, and self-help books that have made a fortune out of the tragedy of the human heart.

Once broken, it seems that every fibre of your being is compelled to feel broken as well. All functions cease and the world stands still.

That’s why everybody avoids having a broken heart or when they are suffering from one, does everything to repair it.

Romantic love is something everyone aspires to have and to have it for the long term according to The Guardian in their article How they stay together: what 68 long-term couples taught me about love

Its euphoric nature makes every human being’s soul purpose to seek love all throughout their lifetime. There is no bigger tragedy than finding love elude you or nothing more painful than unrequited love. They say it’s much worse than physical death— you are alive and breathing yet suffering from feelings of powerlessness, frustration, and devastation eating away at you every day you are heartbroken. You grieve, and much like in death, go through the stages of denial (He’ll come back), anger (I hate his guts), bargaining (Maybe if I wasn’t too clingy, he’d come back), depression (I don’t think I’ll ever want to love again), and finally acceptance (I’ve moved on).

Many people seek therapy or professional counsel to help them get over a broken heart. There is an Australian Government website called Health Direct that has a page called Counsellors and counselling that can help you with advice about your broken relationship if you feel you need to talk to someone.

But if you can’t afford it, here are steps you can follow to arrive at the same goal: break free from heartbreak!

Also Read Communication Gaps: Men Vs. Women

Mending A Broken Heart in Ten Steps

#1 Acknowledge the Reality that Your Feelings of Love and Hurt were Real

Just because it didn’t turn out for the better, doesn’t mean your relationship was a sham. You both fell in love when you were together and you did enjoy the experience together.

#2 Love is Always a Blessing

Not a lot of people get to experience love in their lifetime. So consider your experience with love as a rare gift, even if it caused you pain.

#3 Everything Happens for a Reason

You may not see it clearly at the height of your pain from the heartbreak, but once the air clears and you can think more rationally, you’ll realize that it was for the better.

#4 Live in the Present

Leave the past behind and not worry about the future. Instead, take care of today. Today is real and very much here, under your grasp and control. Take it as an opportunity to control what you want for tomorrow.

#5 Channel Your Emotions

Don’t bottle it up. It’s like keeping a bomb in a pressurized chamber—sooner or later it’ll explode. It is always healthy to express anger and grief. It is one way to let go of your feelings by acknowledging that they exist.

#6 Cut All Ties

No, you can’t be friends. At least not yet. How can you move on if you constantly see him/her, go through their Facebook posts, accidentally text message them, or pass by a place they frequent. It’s like whacking your head with a rock you picked up yourself. Remove yourself from feeling constantly rejected.

#7 Turn to Family and Friends

It always helps to have someone listen to you and it is comforting to be surrounded by people who actually love you and care for you.

#8 You are Worthy of Love

Often after a heartbreak, you tend to feel unlovable. That is not true. You may have felt unloved by one person. But it’s just that ONE person, not the entire universe.

#9 Love Yourself First

They say love is an extension of yourself and before you can give love, you must have love first. So accept who you are and love yourself for all that you are—flaws and all. You can’t love someone else without loving yourself first.

#10 Everything Passes

Before you know it, it’ll be over. It may take months or years, but it’ll be over. Soon enough, you will love again.

I wanted to add another step here and that’s called move on with your life when you are ready. And, this is where a Sydney dating agency like us at Blue Label Life can help you meet someone new in a gentle, nurturing way. Well, help you get your self-confidence back by finding you a new like-minded partner.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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