The dance of courtship

Step forward! Step back! Forward…Back….I often talk to my clients about the dance of courting and the importance of stepping back once you have stepped forward.

This is relevant to whether you are a man or a woman; stepping back allows the other person to reflect and miss you, and it is also an opportunity for you to reflect on how you feel.

Now just to be clear, I am not talking about playing games or being unavailable, ignoring or being rude, not at all; I am talking about the dance between a woman and a man, the feminine and the masculine.

Just like the rubber band analogy often used, imagine there is a rubber band around the two of you, and when one steps forward, the other needs to step back to keep the tension tight.

Also read: Tips to Overcome Your Insecurity to Find Love

Step forward…Step back

I am often asked how long a man needs to wait to contact a woman and then how long a woman needs to take to respond. When you are polite, respectful, playful, fun, and positive, the timing doesn’t matter; it is more about once you make contact, you wait for the other to come forward. Forward. Back. Forward. Back.

Stepping forward can have different contexts, such as opening up, making contact, suggesting, flirting, asking a question, etc. Once this is done, then – step back.

You can do this as much as you wish, whether you are a man or a woman, as long as you step back afterwards. It also creates equality in the relationship.

What do I mean by stepping back?

I mean, wait, focus on yourself, look after yourself, love yourself, give yourself time to reflect, nurture yourself, allow time to happen, allow things to unfold, be patient, and sit back. Sit in your emotions, feel your emotions, and embrace your emotions.
We are in a world now where we are getting used to having instant gratification, instant messaging, instant results, instant information, instant fun, and instant spark!
The connection is not instant!!!!!!!

Connection takes time and patience; it is a dance…forward…back…

…the longer it takes, the more stable and solid your relationship is, the healthier the attachment, and the more we can still be our individual selves and come together as a team, and the more exciting it is, the more certain it is, the more genuine it is, the more inspirational it is, and the more satisfying it is….

The message behind stepping back doesn’t necessarily mean it is now your turn to step forward; it is now your turn to do the work, and it is now your turn to show yourself…….
Instead, consider it meaning – Now come and get me…. I entice you… I invite you… It is fun…it is banter…I inspire you…step forward…step back…it is a rhythm… it is a motion…it creates a foundation….forward…back…it creates equality…synergy… flow…forward…back…forward…back

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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