We are all insecure, which can affect our happiness, well-being and love life.
Finding happiness in life can be challenging if you let your insecurities get the better of you and start dictating who you are as a person.
In some cases, people’s insecurities can be so bad they find it hard to meet other people; even going outside for a walk can prove challenging. But, if you are looking to meet someone special and open yourself up to finding love, then you have to conquer your insecurities and not let them get the better of you., As hard as this, you can meet a partner and find happiness if you recognise your insecurities and face them head-on. You can’t feel like a rockstar every day but when you’re feeling a bit blue and down about yourself ( yes, everyone gets these feelings), remember they are manageable, and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Following are some golden tips to help you beat your insecurities, become more confident and start dating again.
1) Confront your feelings rather than avoid them. You have to understand who you are and what insecurities you have before you can move forward. Never brush these under the table in the hope they’ll disappear but confront them, address each insecurity and look at ways to manage them. For example, if you fear meeting new people, you must acknowledge this before going on a date. Practice small talk with a friend in a social setting before going on a date, and get used to being in this type of one-on-one situation. Keep doing this until you gain more confidence and feel relaxed in a cafe meeting someone for coffee. Over time you’ll soon forget about meeting new people in a social setting.
2) Set realistic goals. Don’t be too hard on yourself; never set an exact time frame for overcoming your insecurities; this added pressure will only worsen matters. Instead, remember to be kind to yourself; your insecurities will dissipate slowly over time with enough effort and practice.
3) Prepare yourself for setbacks and be able to know that these are temporary. For example, if you are insecure about meeting a new person for the first time and going on a date, and things go pear-shaped, use this experience as a learning curve for the next time. Don’t throw your arms up in the air and give up; steady your resolve and know that this is just part of the learning process as your body and mind adjust to new and stressful situations. It’s all about learning what triggers your insecurities, confronting them, and accepting that overcoming them is not linear. There are ups and downs, but acceptance is key to being your best person.
Also read: 13 Signs your in a Toxic Relationship
4) Embrace all of your characteristics and learn to love yourself. You will never change who you are, but you can learn to understand all your insecurities, and once you know them, you can start addressing them and see why they are hindering your quest for love. Hating yourself will only lead to more self-loathing and perpetuate your insecurities. Never cast this negative shadow over yourself; instead, embrace them openly as being who you are. Healthline tells us to: take inventory of everything you’re doing right. Chances are, your thoughts about yourself aren’t taking into account the hundreds of positive micro-decisions we make on a daily basis.
5) Challenge all negative thoughts and remember they are just thoughts. They come, and they go, simple as that. So, for example, if you start feeling insecure before a date, know that these only mind thoughts can leave as quickly as they came. Do not let these negative thoughts dictate who you are or what you are about to do, especially if it’s as essential as finding a partner. Challenge all these negative thoughts and feelings constructively and try to put a positive spin on every negative emotion. It takes practice, but you soon realise you can beat your insecurities and negative thought patterns.
6) Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who give you positive energy and an upbeat outlook. Positive people’s power will rub off on you and help you overcome your insecurities.
7) Listen to other people’s stories about overcoming their insecurities. You are not alone in this journey. Sometimes you may feel like you are the only person in the room with problems, but the one takeaway from this is; that you are just one of the billions of people with issues. Never be afraid to reach out and talk to people, even professionals, who can guide you down a better pathway.
8) Do things that make you happy. It doesn’t matter what it is; a walk in the park, shopping or just sitting in a cafe. Do things that make you happy and bring some joy to your life. Sitting and stewing over what might not happen and worrying endlessly will not solve anything. Be proactive in putting yourself number1!
9) Let go of people and situations that fuel your insecurities. Ditch negative people who ignite your fears and fuel those negative emotions and insecurities. Block them from your phone, don’t follow them on social media, delete these people out of your life and instead bring in positive, genuine people who love you for who you are.
10) Be happy with your progress, whether big or small. Like everything in life, it all begins with a few small steps. So congratulate yourself on each victory (no matter how small – it might be a 5-minute phone conversation with a new person you intend to meet), and be happy that you are taking a proactive approach to dealing with your internal issues.
