Even the most experienced daters out there still get the jitters on their first dates.
It’s always a whole new level of anticipation, anxiety, expectations, and possible disappointments.
First dates can the one of the most scary things for us to do. But, there are solutions and ways to navigate the dating journey.
First dates are always crucial– they help you decide whether your date has the potential to be long-term romantic partner or that you might just be wasting your time. You always hope that your upcoming first date will hopefully be your last. You can’t stand the thought of experiencing the sting of rejection again.
So how do you deal with the aftermath of a first date without losing your sanity? Well, here are three easy steps you can follow.
Evaluate your feelings.
Sure, you might have felt immensely and emotionally invested in the other person on your first date. So you go about analyzing every single aspect of the date that transpired. Were his actions any indication that he likes me? Why was she awfully quiet when I told her I wanted to be a musician? Was he turned off by my mannerisms? Before you go into a crazy state of mind, stop yourself. Instead of examining what your date must be possibly feeling or thinking, analyze your own feelings. You can never second guess how another person feels or what they’re think, it’ll just drive you mad! You have to overcome all your insecurities when searching for love as these will stop you in your tracks. Wallowing in your insecurities and freaking out before or after a date is a recipe for disaster.
But you know yourself better than anyone, so acknowledge your feelings first. Ask yourself the following questions: How did you feel about the date? Are you looking forward to seeing the other person again? Did you enjoy and have a good time? Was your date someone who sparked something in you that makes you want to spend more time with them together? Did you actually feel good? Once you have the answers to these questions, the decision to whether see your date again or not will come easily and naturally.
Have an objective opinion outside of your own.
Like the first one, you are susceptible to develop your own destructive notions about your date. It is helpful to talk about the first date with a friend or someone who can give you sound judgment and unbiased opinion about it. Analyzing what happened on the date can be laden with malice and misunderstanding if done on your own. But having someone tell you objectively what the date means will give you a better perspective on things. Bustle has a great article titled 11 Hacks For Calming Your Nerves Before A First Date which is a great read if you are about to go on a first date.
Also Read: How Do You Know When You Are Ready To Date Again?
Think about how you want to proceed.
This is definitely the tipping point of any first dates. This is when you decide whether you wish to continue seeing the other person. At this point, you may have already processed the date and have give your date some careful consideration. If you wish to continue seeing the other person again, you now have the dilemma of how you are going to communicate that desire. A short message or email will suffice. If, however, you think there’s no chance for romance between you and your date, it is best to express that thought immediately after the first date. That way, you avoid any awkwardness and misleading behavior. But always be prepared for rejection.
