The three date rule

Calling all single men and women, I have a challenge. It’s called the three date rule.

Those who know me well know that my number one piece of advice when meeting someone for the first time is to meet them again…. and again.

Yes, the three-date rule is no secret. It has a proven track record of bringing together countless couples for many years – couples who, let’s be honest, came to me because they were a little picky about choosing a partner.

Studies show that 2/3 of married couples originally fell in love with someone they’ve known for some time, rather than someone they’ve just met. It makes sense. Like an onion, humans have layers that can only be peeled back with time. Women’s Health tells us that: men wait just 88 days (that’s under three months) to say those three little words to their partner for the first time, and 39 per cent say them within the first month (wow). Women, on the other hand, take an average of 134 days.

The first date is really all about breaking the ice. You’re both nervous and on your best behaviour, which is nice, but it can also prevent your true personality from coming through. The first date should be short and sweet. Leave a bit to the imagination and keep the mystery alive.

Date two is about establishing a connection. What is it that you two share? Do you have similar values? Do you have fun with this person? Is there potential for a relationship?

Also read: Not getting a second date? Find out why…

Date three is D-Date. It’s the make or break time period where you begin to show your true colours. The majority of married women I know didn’t realise until the third date if their partner was right for them. It’s a little different for men. They tend to know a little earlier (call it instinct or sometimes a lack thereof), but I still recommend that all people should practise this rule.

I know it’s challenging to keep dating someone where theres’ no instant chemical attraction, but it’s worth it in the long run. Rather than relying on physical looks alone, it’s essential to give the person the benefit of the doubt and aim to get to that 3 rd date. Unless you have a long waiting list of dates lining up to meet you, you should have the mindset to get to know someone better. Learn what they are like rather than basing your opinion on looks. Some people might call it shallow if you wait for that chemical spark, and others dismiss the three date rule. But, I think in todays’ tinder world, three dates gives you ample opportunity to learn more about the person.

robyn nind - professional matchmaker

Robyn Nind is a dating coach and matchmaker at Blue Label Life. Robyn has helped countless singles find love and a partner.

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