The ‘EX’ factor

I’m interested in my friend’s ex-girlfriend. They have been broken up for a while and we have been flirting for years. Would I be crossing a line if I told her how I feel?
Damien, via email

First things first, Damien. You need to tell your friend how you feel about his ex. Regardless of the length of the relationship, dating ex-partners of friends is generally a no-go-zone. Well, in my books it is, anyway.

There’s a social rule that states that friends need to wait the length of the relationship before telling the other person how he/she feels. So if your friend and his now ex-girlfriend went out for a year, you would have to wait an additional year before you could tell her how you feel. Whether or not you want to follow that rule is up to you. But you must get your friend’s blessing beforehand.

When you tell him, be honest and sincere. Tell him that you wouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t think this girl was the one, or had the potential to be, at least.

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