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10 Challenges Busy Professionals Face When It Comes To Dating

10 Challenges Busy Professionals Face When It Comes To Dating

Let’s face it: dating can be an absolute nightmare.

Being single, going on endless dates and putting on your dating face each time is exhausting. And, for busy professional people with a hectic and demanding job, going on dates is an arduous task. Following are 10 obstacles busy professionals and executives have when it comes to dating and finding a partner. See if you recognise any of these and find ways to help overcome them, making it easier to start dating.

Time Poor: Busy professionals will have demanding work schedules. They are running from meeting to meeting, managing people, being accountable and playing the corporate role. So how will they find the time to date, build meaningful connections with people, and fall in love if their job is essentially their life?

Stamina: Busy work schedules, including going to the gym to destress, can leave you feeling flat and burnt out, and the last thing you want to do is go on a date. How will you get that burst of energy and be enthusiastic for a date? Most execs will put downtime at home before meeting new people.

Priorities: What’s more important: working back and perhaps going to the office on the weekend or putting effort into meeting someone and finding your next partner? Career-driven professionals will put their work first and their love life down the list of priorities. When it comes to a work-life balance, in their case, it’s work, work, work!

Can’t Co-ordinate Schedules: If you’re going to date another professional or busy executive, finding quality time to spend together may prove too hard. What happens if one partner has to travel constantly and the whole long-distance relationship comes into play? Busy people with hectic jobs and perhaps kids from a previous marriage will find it challenging to have spare time.

Unrealistic Expectations: Busy professionals and high-powered executives, CEOs, etc, have achieved their position because they have high standards, which may also translate into the people they seek. Will their standards and expectations be too unrealistic?

Communication Challenges: Busy people may find it hard to answer texts, messages, and emails or become engaged in the other’s social media profiles, leading to a communication breakdown. In the early stages of a relationship, both partners must be freely communicating. And, with a mobile phone, there’s no excuse for a very quick response or emoji reply. If you’re too busy for this, it can spell disaster.

Stress and Pressure: High-pressure careers and demanding jobs can add stress and anxiety to people, affecting their ability to meet other people and find a partner. If you are too stressed out and highly strung, the other person will pick up on this, and it’s not a good look, especially for first dates.

Travel: Some careers require frequent travel overseas, making it almost impossible to maintain a domestic relationship.

Social Stigma: In some office cultures, working late, even till 8 or 9 pm, is common practice and ducking out for a date is frowned upon by other work colleagues and managers. Believe it or not, it does happen.

Lost your mojo: For guys in their late 40s, 50s or even 60s, being single and in a demanding career can mean that your sex drive has gone and the last thing you feel like doing is dating.

These challenges are all too common, and we hear them all the time, but the professional team of matchmakers at Blue Label Life can help you navigate this difficult path and help you find a partner. Robyn and her team know how hard it can be to juggle a career and the dating environment, so that she will be by your side throughout this process. At Blue Label Life, we’ll sort potential matches for you, saving you time and effort, meaning you only meet people who match your lifestyle and values. And yes, there has to be that certain chemistry, so we always show you their profiles before meeting them.

Ready for dating to be fun again?

The professional matchmakers at Blue Label Life use our years of experience, not AI or an algorithm, to match. Talk to us today and see the difference the human touch can make.

Have you found yourself dating a man who is unavailable or won't commit? This is WHY.

Have you found yourself dating a man who is unavailable or won’t commit? This is WHY.

Why date an unavailable man and one who isn’t committed to you? You will only do this if you feel you do not deserve to be a priority. So you have to say to yourself that it’s my turn, and I deserve to be with a man I am proud of and proud of me. I deserve to feel looked after and secure in our relationship, and I deserve to be a priority and to feel good about myself and the relationship.

You have to say to yourself that you deserve to feel valued, and I deserve to feel appreciated, and we focus on these feelings and not the man. So it would help to concentrate on how you feel in this relationship and the connection where you feel safe and reassured.

If you are dating a man that’s not committed, it could also be that you are not committed to yourself or find it challenging to commit to yourself. So the first step to dealing with this is to put yourself first and put what you want out of the relationship first. Next, you must take the focus off the man and put the spotlight back on yourself. Finally, you want to feel safe, secure and looked after.

When dating a man committed to you, you don’t even question whether or not they are committed to you. You never question if they are available or not. So the minute you don’t feel like a priority, move your attention away and focus on something else. Something that feels good and lifts you up. Or, put it towards another man because you deserve to be with a man that’s proud of you and who you’re proud of. This is the most important thing for you to remember. So sit back in your heart and appreciate the men that come towards you and move your attention away the minute you don’t feel like a priority. Move it to something positive, and always be open-minded about meeting a new person and having them in your life.

3 Top First Date Tips in 2023

3 Top First Date Tips in 2023

If you are new to the dating scene or have been recently single, divorced or find yourself unattached, the dating scene can be pretty daunting. 

With so many dating options and so many single people looking to find a partner, you have to be on top of your game if you are going to make an excellent first impression.

So, the following are 3 golden tips for Aussie singles going on a date.

1) What is a good first date?

The first date should be thought of as an experience. I always tell my clients not to meet for a coffee on the first date, and the reason for this is that it seems far too casual. A coffee catch-up, in many instances, is just that. A catch-up for a quick coffee, then you’re on your way. A fast coffee date doesn’t feel like there’s too much effort and shows a lack of imagination and romance. It feels more like a work meeting where you’re slotting each other in for a 30 to 60-minute meet-up. A first date should be at the weekend because you have more free time and are much more relaxed. Plus, meet early or late in the afternoon and make sure you meet somewhere lovely with a casual ambience for a quiet drink, with an atmosphere that has a bit of a buzz and somewhere where other people are around. It could be near the beach where you can get dressed up and show your date that you have made an effort to look good. It’s good to meet on the first date for a drink only because you are not stuck with the other person if you are not connecting and struggling for conversation. But, if you are clicking, this is the perfect segway to go and have a bite to eat (if you have time). Suppose you are not a drinker and must make it to the pub or wine bar. In that case, I suggest going for a walk (weather dependent) or doing an activity (seeing a show or going to the local markets or something interesting happening nearby). But the takeaway here is to make it an experience because you become more relaxed and you can get to know each other better. 

2) What to talk about and what not to talk about on a first date.

It’s best to avoid talking about past relationships or your experiences from past dates. Yes, there’s the temptation to discuss this but try to steer clear of these topics as they can become very pessimistic and sometimes become a counselling session. Remember you are on a date and want to have fun and get to know that other person. Previous bad date experiences close the door to this opportunity. So you want to keep the first date upbeat, positive and fun. Talk about things you are passionate about and love doing. Hobbies, jobs, travel, sport, pets, and anything that you love doing that might spark a positive common connection is a great conversation booster. Talk about things that inspire you and make you feel good. Remember, this will bring out the best in you and radiate positive energy, which is very attractive to the other person. Also, ask questions about the other person. What drives them, what are their life goals, what do they like doing, what makes them feel good, and when are they most happy? The conversation makes everyone feel good and brings a positive experience. From here, you’ll see the conversation start flowing a lot easier. 

3) Who should pay for the first date?

The man should pay! It shows character and responsibility, and above all, it shows care which is why I always suggest that you meet somewhere nice for a drink that is not overly expensive for a first date. I’ve got many men clients, and one thing I can tell you is that men always appreciate women who offer to pay their share of the bill. So girls, take note you should always put your hand in your pocket (even if it’s for a drink) and pay your half. But, if the man insists on paying, sit back and appreciate the decent gesture.  News backs this up in their article: Why men should always pay on the first date, where they say ‘Just imagine how someone like that will treat their significant other, their spouse. For a low, low price of 20, 30, 40 dollars or whatever, you learned that the person in front of you does not have the basic courtesy to pretend to offer to pay.’

There are many other crucial first-date tips, but these 3 should be enough to point you in the right direction. Of course, if you need any other dating tips or would like to reach out and get further advice, I’m more than happy to help you succeed on the dating scene.

Tips to Overcome your Insecurity to Find Love - blue label life

Tips to Overcome your Insecurity to Find Love

We are all insecure, which can affect our happiness, well-being and love life.

Finding happiness in life can be challenging if you let your insecurities get the better of you and start dictating who you are as a person.

Tips to Overcome your Insecurity to Find Love - blue label life

In some cases, people’s insecurities can be so bad they find it hard to meet other people; even going outside for a walk can prove challenging. But, if you are looking to meet someone special and open yourself up to finding love, then you have to conquer your insecurities and not let them get the better of you., As hard as this, you can meet a partner and find happiness if you recognise your insecurities and face them head-on. You can’t feel like a rockstar every day but when you’re feeling a bit blue and down about yourself ( yes, everyone gets these feelings), remember they are manageable, and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Following are some golden tips to help you beat your insecurities, become more confident and start dating again.

1) Confront your feelings rather than avoid them. You have to understand who you are and what insecurities you have before you can move forward. Never brush these under the table in the hope they’ll disappear but confront them, address each insecurity and look at ways to manage them. For example, if you fear meeting new people, you must acknowledge this before going on a date. Practice small talk with a friend in a social setting before going on a date, and get used to being in this type of one-on-one situation. Keep doing this until you gain more confidence and feel relaxed in a cafe meeting someone for coffee. Over time you’ll soon forget about meeting new people in a social setting.

2) Set realistic goals. Don’t be too hard on yourself; never set an exact time frame for overcoming your insecurities; this added pressure will only worsen matters. Instead, remember to be kind to yourself; your insecurities will dissipate slowly over time with enough effort and practice.

3) Prepare yourself for setbacks and be able to know that these are temporary. For example, if you are insecure about meeting a new person for the first time and going on a date, and things go pear-shaped, use this experience as a learning curve for the next time. Don’t throw your arms up in the air and give up; steady your resolve and know that this is just part of the learning process as your body and mind adjust to new and stressful situations. It’s all about learning what triggers your insecurities, confronting them, and accepting that overcoming them is not linear. There are ups and downs, but acceptance is key to being your best person.

Also read: 13 Signs your in a Toxic Relationship

4) Embrace all of your characteristics and learn to love yourself. You will never change who you are, but you can learn to understand all your insecurities, and once you know them, you can start addressing them and see why they are hindering your quest for love. Hating yourself will only lead to more self-loathing and perpetuate your insecurities. Never cast this negative shadow over yourself; instead, embrace them openly as being who you are. Healthline tells us to: take inventory of everything you’re doing right. Chances are, your thoughts about yourself aren’t taking into account the hundreds of positive micro-decisions we make on a daily basis.

5) Challenge all negative thoughts and remember they are just thoughts. They come, and they go, simple as that. So, for example, if you start feeling insecure before a date, know that these only mind thoughts can leave as quickly as they came. Do not let these negative thoughts dictate who you are or what you are about to do, especially if it’s as essential as finding a partner. Challenge all these negative thoughts and feelings constructively and try to put a positive spin on every negative emotion. It takes practice, but you soon realise you can beat your insecurities and negative thought patterns.

6) Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who give you positive energy and an upbeat outlook. Positive people’s power will rub off on you and help you overcome your insecurities.

7) Listen to other people’s stories about overcoming their insecurities. You are not alone in this journey. Sometimes you may feel like you are the only person in the room with problems, but the one takeaway from this is; that you are just one of the billions of people with issues. Never be afraid to reach out and talk to people, even professionals, who can guide you down a better pathway.

8) Do things that make you happy. It doesn’t matter what it is; a walk in the park, shopping or just sitting in a cafe. Do things that make you happy and bring some joy to your life. Sitting and stewing over what might not happen and worrying endlessly will not solve anything. Be proactive in putting yourself number1!

9) Let go of people and situations that fuel your insecurities. Ditch negative people who ignite your fears and fuel those negative emotions and insecurities. Block them from your phone, don’t follow them on social media, delete these people out of your life and instead bring in positive, genuine people who love you for who you are.

10) Be happy with your progress, whether big or small. Like everything in life, it all begins with a few small steps. So congratulate yourself on each victory (no matter how small – it might be a 5-minute phone conversation with a new person you intend to meet), and be happy that you are taking a proactive approach to dealing with your internal issues.

Mosman Dating Agency Services

Are you looking to find love in Mosman?

Have you been on endless dates that go nowhere and are looking to meet the perfect person who lives near or is a local to the Mosam area?

Then contact us at Blue Label Life; we have got the Mosman area covered when it comes to exclusive dating and matchmaking. As one of Mosman’s preferred dating services, we can match you with your equal; someone like you is searching for the love of their life.

Here at Blue Label Life, we believe that everyone deserves to find love no matter what stage they are in their life. Most singles that come to us are from all over Sydney, but if you are keen on meeting someone who lives on the North Shore, Northern Beaches or Mosman area, we can help. We know how hard travelling can be in crowded Sydney, so if you’re not keen to travel over the bridge or head out west, we can match you with someone who lives either in the Mosman area or very close by.

Finding your perfect partner is now very doable and within your grasp. All you need to do is contact Robyn, who will be able to arrange a private, discreet one-on-one meeting to go over your preferences, lifestyle, and what you’re looking for in a person. From there, we go through our database, choose someone local to Mosman or nearby and send you their profile for viewing. It’s as easy as that!

Our clients are diverse, professional and executives, but all genuinely seek a real connection, commitment and long-term love.

Blue Label Life caters specifically for professionals, divorcees, seniors and singles in Mosman, meaning that a wonderful person could be closer than you think. Making the first move is often the hardest, but if you are willing to do this, we can help you on the pathway to finding true and meaningful love.

Tips to help you start dating after a break-up

Tips to help you start dating after a break-up

Getting your heart broken is a horrible feeling and one that can last a long time. The good news is you can use this time to empower yourself.

It’s a highly emotional time where you experience depression, anger, hurt, sadness, regret, self-doubt and a feeling that you’ll never recover – it’s a mixed bag of emotions.

Dealing with all these emotions is not the only byproduct of the relationship ending – but you also wonder if you’ll ever be able to date again and how are you going to find the right partner after all this time? The end of a relationship, especially if it was a toxic relationship, is a tumultuous time. Make no mistake; it takes a lot of strength and mental stamina to get through the tough times.

A big question is whether or not you have the capacity to jump back into a relationship so soon after the break-up, and have you had enough time to heal? Of course, many relationships are over before the break-up, meaning you have started the healing process already. But, break-ups that happen suddenly may require many months to repair the damage to one’s ego, heart and mental state. So, you should be asking yourself is; are you ready to dive back into the dating pool? And following are some great tips to help you get back on that horse and start the dating process after breaking up with someone you’ve been involved with for years.

Have A Positive Mindset

It’s important to stay positive and be optimistic about the future. Ask Men in their article How To Remain Positive After A Break-up tells us that changing your brain works and processes information to a more positive inclination. Having a negative approach will get you nowhere in your search for a new partner. Being proactive and open-minded is the first positive step you can take to meet someone special and repair your broken heart. The last thing you want to do is wallow in self-pity and angst over a past relationship with zero hope of resurrection. The best thing you can do for yourself is changing your attitude and kick start the dating process. Having trust in life, and knowing that everything is an opportunity for your own growth, looking at breakups as a redirection in your life, putting you on the right path for your own happiness.

Related ArticleDivorce Dating Agency Australia

Learn more about what you want in a future partner

If you have distanced yourself far enough from your previous relationship, it might be a good time to see what has worked and what hasn’t. There may be certain traits or characteristics that you’ve put up with for a long time that bothered you; it might be an excellent time to work these out now so you can recognise these traits in a prospective partner.

The trick here is to avoid going down the path and tolerating the same attributes or habits that annoyed you or caused the relationship to end. Instead, steer well clear of these and learn from the past. Look for chemistry on your next round of dates but keep in mind those tiny habits that drove you up the wall. It might help to write a list of things that bothered you in your past relationship while they are fresh in your mind, so you don’t forget them. Life Hack tells us that letting go of the past allows you to focus on the here and now and helps you choose more empowering thoughts. Focus on how you want to feel rather than the details. Focus every day on feeling good, feeling love and inspiration.

Give yourself time to heal.

Don’t expect to be dating in a week. Instead, give yourself time to heal the wounds of the past relationship. You might need a few months or even years but make sure you don’t pressure yourself into the next relationship and never put a time limit on how you feel. Instead, recognise the fact and signs that you may be hurting, acknowledge this and give your body and heart the time it needs to process everything that has just transpired.

Rushing headlong into the next relationship is simply a rebound, and you might end up doing more damage or sinking further into a slump. Feeling down is a natural response to a break-up, and you should never feel guilty or ashamed about your thoughts and feelings. Instead, embrace these feelings, learn from the past so you can progress to a future with a clearer head and understanding of what you truly want. Be kind to yourself and others.

Don’t Compare Dates To Your Ex

The absolute worst thing you can do is start comparing the person sitting opposite you with your ex. It’s hard to do, but you must learn to separate any feelings you’ve had for your ex from any potential dates or partners during the healing process. Yes, you’ve had good times in the past but keep these as fond memories. However, comparing your date to your ex is a recipe for failure and shows that you have not entirely healed. If thoughts about your ex creep into your mindset during the date and you start comparing them to your ex, try to switch these off. It doesn’t give the other person a fair chance and inhibits any chance you have of making a connection with someone new. WikiHow elaborates on this by saying, learn to drop the comparisons about your ex and truly move on from this failed relationship by remembering why the relationship ended and recounting the reasons why you two weren’t a great match. A great way to stay present is through gratitude for where you are now and what you have in your life. Appreciate your experiences and the people near you.

Take Things Slowly

You don’t want to put pressure on yourself to rush into the next relationship. Instead, take things slowly and be by yourself for a while, which may be hard to do if you do something with your partner. Take this period in your life to learn more about yourself, and you might be surprised by what you find out. Never rush into a new relationship feeling you need to fill the void in your life. Your date will sense your desperation, and you may end up pushing them away. Instead, take a measured approach to your subsequent relationships. Eventually, you will meet someone new, but this has to happen organically. Try to let go of all conditions, and be open to surprises and new experiences.

It’s not all about dating

After a break-up, you might become obsessed with meeting someone new. It can become all-consuming and can impair your judgement about potential partners. Instead, take a step backwards and look at doing other things and put your energies and focus into other areas of your life. For example, get a hobby, focus on your business, career or work and allow your mind to concentrate on other areas of your life other than meeting a partner. Putting too much pressure on yourself to find a partner adds stress and anxiety, which means you won’t attract the right type of person. Focus on loving yourself and doing things for you and your well being.

Enjoy being single

Yes, that’s right! Love yourself again! Enjoy the chance you have of being single and meeting different people. Go on a few dates and meet new and exciting people. You might have been in a relationship or married for many years, and now you’re single, it’s a fantastic time to get to know the real you. Invest time in yourself; you might be surprised by what you find. You might just like being single. Be in the moment, and if you feel that you’d like to meet someone new, make sure you don’t jump into the first relationship prospect that comes around. Take your time and build friendships and connections first without conditions.

Connect with old friends

Being in a relationship may have cocooned you for years in your bubble, and now is an excellent time to reconnect with old friends that have left your life. So make an effort to call a few old mates from school or uni and go out for a coffee. Knowing how their lives have progressed and seeing what they have been up to for the last 10 or 20 years may make you feel better about your life’s current predicament.

It is ok to be vulnerable

Don’t pretend that life is all rosy and put on a happy face all the time. Instead, open up to close friends and tell them how you’re feeling. They are there to help you get through this challenging period in your life. Pretending you’re something you’re not will exacerbate the feeling of loneliness and insecurity. Remember, it’s OK to feel bad about your current situation and the break-up. We are all human and we all want to feel accepted and loved for who we are. Being vulnerable can feel daunting and scary at first, but once you take that step, you begin to step into your power and it in turn builds connections around you that would not have happened if you kept your emotions to yourself.

Signs your in a Toxic Relationship

13 Signs your in a Toxic Relationship

Toxic people can ruin your life and hurt your overall well-being.

If your past relationship was in any way toxic, then it’s best to walk away and never go back.

Toxic people, whether family members, partners or work colleagues, can all affect us in different ways and stop us from realising our real potential. Toxicity in people can leak everywhere and damage your state of mind, zen and ability to move forward with life. Toxic people in relationships can linger around like a bad smell, yet sometimes we find it extremely difficult to pull away and leave them behind. Like an addiction, toxic people can be hard to break away from, and many end up being in a toxic loop repeating the same mistakes keeping them trapped in a negative cycle.

Time defines a toxic relationship like any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict, and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

A considerable challenge can be walking away from these negative people who might have been in your life for years, and these may include close family members and even your husband or wife. However, suppose you are afraid to take the next step and move on with your life by eliminating toxicity. In that case, the following are clear signs that you’re in a toxic relationship, so you can quickly extricate yourself from this situation.

Also read: How to meet a man or woman in my age group who wants the same things I do?

1) It’s horrible the whole time

The whole time is terrible, and you never look forward to spending quality time with that person. You dread it. You see other couples walking happily on the beach, walking in the park, and you have a sense of pain, questioning why can’t you be like them? You can never move forward if you feel like this, and the best way to tackle this toxic feeling is head-on and address any underlying issues that are causing these toxic feelings towards your partner.

2) Walking on eggshells

Are you constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to upset or ignite an argument? If everything you say is met with hostility or raising the eyebrows that you have done something wrong, then this is a clear sign you have a toxic partner. You can’t continually walk on eggshells in a state of fear and paranoia, hoping it will get better because it won’t. The toxicity has set in and needs to be cut off to start living your life with someone on your page. Living with all this nervous energy is bad for your overall health and mental state.

3) You avoid all communication

In any relationship, communication is the key to its survival. But, if you feel that communication is hopeless and every time you try to resolve an issue or end up in a fight when you start a conversation, this is a strong signal that the relationship is super-toxic. If the thought of communicating with the other party seems futile, exhausting and dead-end, you have to take steps to either end the relationship or seek some mediation.

4) Sex is an issue

WOW, this is a huge sign that you are in a toxic relationship when the sex dies. Of course, you might have been having amazing sex at the beginning of the relationship or marriage. Still, you cannot remember the last time you felt like being intimate with your partner. And, if you are pressed to have sex, it becomes a chore. There’s no love, affection or feelings in the sex, and you end up fantasising about another person during the act.

5) Weekends are spent separately

Remember when you used to go on those long beach walks or those romantic weekends away? Well, those days are long gone. Instead, she prefers to hang out with her girlfriends, and you’re with the boys at the football or pub. Essentially, you live separate lives and only come together in the evening for a quick meal before both of you retreat to your own lives watching Netflix.

6) Work is the priority

You are in for a rocky future if the two of you cannot set aside time away from work. If your careers take priority in the relationship and you are too scared to broach the subject of a quick weekend away, then toxicity in the relationship has set in deep.

7) You focus on mistakes

As humans, we all make mistakes. Whether it’s as simple as forgetting something on the shopping list or missing an appointment, we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, in toxic relationships, you constantly remind each other of their flaws, forgetfulness or errors they have made in the past and use these as artillery in any argument. You are almost happy when your partner makes a mistake, so you can add it to their list of things you don’t like about them.

8) Unresolved issues

Every relationship will have its issues, no matter how long or short they have been together. Unfortunately, in toxic relationships, nothing gets resolved, and arguments simply either end in tears or someone storming out of the room. There are far too many unresolved issues and arguments that are swept under the carpet. It’s a super-toxic environment, and unless these are cleaned up and resolved, the relationship is doomed.

9) The public put down

When you are in a public situation with friends, and your partner is happy to belittle you in front of everyone, it’s time to realise that something is wrong in the relationship. They’ll pick on you, point out private things and even shout at you in front of other people. Bullying and intimidation are part of a fractured relationship that’s become toxic. Being humiliated in front of friends or relatives can destroy your image, creating embarrassing situations that leave you feeling vulnerable and inferior. If this is a recurring theme, get out of that relationship ASAP!

10) Lying

If you find yourself lying and hiding the truth from your partner for whatever reason, chances are the relationship has soured and is toxic. Lying comes in different formats. For example, you might lie about your feelings, love for the other person, or your work. But, if you cannot be honest in a relationship and tell the truth no matter what, then it’s time to address the situation.

11) Jealousy

Jealousy is a massive sign that your partner doesn’t trust you for whatever reason. This is a very slippery slope if you can’t have a moment by yourself without the jealous questions and innuendos.

12) Disrespect

Suppose your partner constantly forgets significant events in your life or is taking no interest in your career, hobbies, or lifestyle choices. In that case, they show a lack of respect for you and your importance on aspects of your life.

13) Losing self-esteem

Partners in many toxic relationships will decide to let themselves go. Fearing they have nowhere to go and feel stuck in a relationship like this forever, they take solace in food and binge on Netflix. Exercise and self-grooming take a back seat, and they might even start ignoring their appearance as revenge.

And finally…

There are so many reasons why perfectly happy couples end up in a toxic relationship. It won’t happen instantly. It;’s a subtle and gradual process that can take you by surprise. Remember, you are not alone, and toxicity in relationships is prevalent. The best thing you can do is try mending the damage, but if it’s too far gone, you have to extricate yourself and try meeting new people that could hopefully lead to something special. A healthy relationship feels loving, supportive, respectful and honest. The first step to stepping away from toxicity is recognising your role and taking responsibility for your own actions. Look at where your own behaviour could have contributed to or allowed the toxicity. It may be your own boundaries are clouded, your own self-confidence or any insecurities you have from the past. Forgiveness is the key, and that starts with your own self-forgiveness, being kind to yourself and owning your emotions, which then leads to forgiving the other person which allows you to move on with a clean slate.

Dating deal breakers for men

16 Dating deal breakers for men – women pay close attention!

A woman can turn a man off very quickly on a first date.

They switch off, and whatever you do to get their attention back fails.

Following are some essential things a woman can do to keep a man’s attention and interest.

1) Dishonesty about age

Nothing is worse than dishonesty, especially when it comes to age. Be upfront and truthful about your age, as you cannot hide certain parts of age like wrinkles and grey hair. If you have told the guy you are 35 and you are 45, he will spot this very quickly. The look on his face when he first sees you will tell the whole story. He’ll be super disappointed as he was expecting to see the women in the photo.

Transparency and honesty are essential in the dating world. If a man is after 35-year-old women never try to compete in this space; if you are not 35. It’s impossible, and you’ll only end up in the dating pool competing with younger women. Be confident in your age, who you are, and the man will respect you for this. It would be best to meet a man in your age group.

2) Keep fit

Men are attracted to women who have pride in themselves and their appearance. If a man is fit and has kept himself in shape, he’ll expect the same with you. So yes, it’s hard to go to the gym during COVID with all these lockdowns but try and trim the kilos doing online cardio classes. Looking trim, taught and terrific will have his eyes glued on you throughout the date.

Also read: Winter Blues – tips for looking & feeling fabulous

3) Manners

Men like women to respect their time. Men want attention on them, and if you’re on your phone more than once, this might send signals that your phone addiction is more important than he is. It’s a huge turn off and one that will have him running for the door very quickly. Business Insider tells us when they talk about dating etiquette that three-quarters of singles said they would be turned off if their date answered the phone without any explanation, while 66% said it was off-putting if they texted.

4) Teetotaler

Men respect a woman who is in control of herself. Most men want a beer or a glass of wine on a date. It’s sociable and relaxes the nerves. If you are a teetotaler and stick to the lemon-lime and bitters, this will show a glimpse of the future. Not ideal if he enjoys his alcohol. If he wants to meet in a bar or pub, tell him you’re a non-drinker upfront and ask him if this is a deal-breaker. If so, don’t waste your time. It will be less painful for both of you.

5) Smoking

Ducking out for a quick cigarette is a definite no-no! Smoking is so passe even if you have had a few wines. Telling him you only smoke when you drink may be OK, but this is a massive turn off for the majority of health-conscious guys. 

6) Selfie addicted

Aman appreciates a woman who respects his privacy.  Taking selfies on the date and rushing to post them on Instagram is a huge turn off for most guys. Marie Claire puts it nicely when they say being on your phone during a date is just rude. I hate having to repeat myself continuously because my date is distracted by a Facebook notification or an incoming WhatsApp message. So check it afterwards.’

7) Being late

Men appreciate a woman who respects his time. Unless you have a perfect excuse, don’t be late. Punctuality shows respect for the guys, and he’ll notice this. Running into the date 20 minutes late, looking flustered and sending continual text messages show him that you’re not interested and is a massive turn off. Don’t be surprised if the guy has shot through and is not waiting for you like a loyal puppy if you’re late and didn’t notify him.

8) Talking about your love conquests

Men like to feel like they are the only man in your world. Men don’t want to hear too much about your past sex lives or other many dates. It shows that you are jumping from one date to the next, and he may feel as though he’s just a number on your dating raffle. So try to play down your dating past.

9) Watch your language

Guys are not the only gender that uses swear words; women are just as guilty. So, tone this down as it cheapens you. According to Psychology Today, for many women, profanity is a turnoff—especially on a first date when both parties are expected to be on their best behaviour. So if it’s the same for women, don’t think for one moment that men don’t share the same attitude. Drop the F-bomb word a few too many times, and the man will be out the door never to return.

10) Being too controlling

Men are attracted to a woman who is feminine and allows him to be the man. Try not to dominate even if you are a high powered executive woman in a job where you are the boss of many men. For example, don’t correct his grammar and let him do the ordering, and don’t try to dominate the conversation. 

11) Too much perfume

Don’t overdo the perfume, as it can be overpowering. Also, he might start to think that you’re covering up some heavy body odour. If you want to spice it up with your favourite perfume, use it sparingly, just enough to get his interest. Also, tone down the make-up. Looking natural is a turn on for guys.

12) Overselling your business prowess

A man doesn’t want to know about your business like; he wants to know about you as a person in a relationship. Some women will oversell their business capabilities to cover up the fact that they are struggling financially. Overselling yourself and creating a grandeur image of who you’d like to be is transparent and outright dishonest. Being humble and down to earth is the best approach to keep the men interested in seeing you again for a second date.

13) Going on about the kids

Talking about the day to day life as a mother can kill sexual attraction. If you start complaining endlessly about your children’s problems, school drop-offs, being a single mum will start sending substantial red flags to the man on the date. He wants to learn more about the beautiful you and not your daily life struggles, which can come later.

14) Ask him to pick up the tab

A man appreciates a woman who offers to contribute to the bill in most cases a gentleman will still insist on paying but he does appreciate the offer. Don’t expect the men to pick up the tab at the end of the date. Instead, do the right thing and offer to pay half. Please don’t leave your wallet in the car expecting him to pay.

15) Making the first move

A man likes to take the lead. If you find him cute and you’re attracted to him, don’t go in for the kill even after a few wines. Instead, let him make the first move and resist that temptation. Initiating the first kiss might show him that you are too forward and that you do this with other guys. Hold back and show him that you prefer him to take the lead.

16) Appreciation

A man likes to feel appreciated. You do this by thanking him and showing gratitude and interest in seeing him again. A man likes to know you are interested in him. The old saying play hard to get is a complete turn off for a real man.