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Signs your in a Toxic Relationship

13 Signs your in a Toxic Relationship

Toxic people can ruin your life and hurt your overall well-being.

If your past relationship was in any way toxic, then it’s best to walk away and never go back.

Toxic people, whether family members, partners or work colleagues, can all affect us in different ways and stop us from realising our real potential. Toxicity in people can leak everywhere and damage your state of mind, zen and ability to move forward with life. Toxic people in relationships can linger around like a bad smell, yet sometimes we find it extremely difficult to pull away and leave them behind. Like an addiction, toxic people can be hard to break away from, and many end up being in a toxic loop repeating the same mistakes keeping them trapped in a negative cycle.

Time defines a toxic relationship like any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict, and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

A considerable challenge can be walking away from these negative people who might have been in your life for years, and these may include close family members and even your husband or wife. However, suppose you are afraid to take the next step and move on with your life by eliminating toxicity. In that case, the following are clear signs that you’re in a toxic relationship, so you can quickly extricate yourself from this situation.

Also read: How to meet a man or woman in my age group who wants the same things I do?

1) It’s horrible the whole time

The whole time is terrible, and you never look forward to spending quality time with that person. You dread it. You see other couples walking happily on the beach, walking in the park, and you have a sense of pain, questioning why can’t you be like them? You can never move forward if you feel like this, and the best way to tackle this toxic feeling is head-on and address any underlying issues that are causing these toxic feelings towards your partner.

2) Walking on eggshells

Are you constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to upset or ignite an argument? If everything you say is met with hostility or raising the eyebrows that you have done something wrong, then this is a clear sign you have a toxic partner. You can’t continually walk on eggshells in a state of fear and paranoia, hoping it will get better because it won’t. The toxicity has set in and needs to be cut off to start living your life with someone on your page. Living with all this nervous energy is bad for your overall health and mental state.

3) You avoid all communication

In any relationship, communication is the key to its survival. But, if you feel that communication is hopeless and every time you try to resolve an issue or end up in a fight when you start a conversation, this is a strong signal that the relationship is super-toxic. If the thought of communicating with the other party seems futile, exhausting and dead-end, you have to take steps to either end the relationship or seek some mediation.

4) Sex is an issue

WOW, this is a huge sign that you are in a toxic relationship when the sex dies. Of course, you might have been having amazing sex at the beginning of the relationship or marriage. Still, you cannot remember the last time you felt like being intimate with your partner. And, if you are pressed to have sex, it becomes a chore. There’s no love, affection or feelings in the sex, and you end up fantasising about another person during the act.

5) Weekends are spent separately

Remember when you used to go on those long beach walks or those romantic weekends away? Well, those days are long gone. Instead, she prefers to hang out with her girlfriends, and you’re with the boys at the football or pub. Essentially, you live separate lives and only come together in the evening for a quick meal before both of you retreat to your own lives watching Netflix.

6) Work is the priority

You are in for a rocky future if the two of you cannot set aside time away from work. If your careers take priority in the relationship and you are too scared to broach the subject of a quick weekend away, then toxicity in the relationship has set in deep.

7) You focus on mistakes

As humans, we all make mistakes. Whether it’s as simple as forgetting something on the shopping list or missing an appointment, we all make mistakes. Unfortunately, in toxic relationships, you constantly remind each other of their flaws, forgetfulness or errors they have made in the past and use these as artillery in any argument. You are almost happy when your partner makes a mistake, so you can add it to their list of things you don’t like about them.

8) Unresolved issues

Every relationship will have its issues, no matter how long or short they have been together. Unfortunately, in toxic relationships, nothing gets resolved, and arguments simply either end in tears or someone storming out of the room. There are far too many unresolved issues and arguments that are swept under the carpet. It’s a super-toxic environment, and unless these are cleaned up and resolved, the relationship is doomed.

9) The public put down

When you are in a public situation with friends, and your partner is happy to belittle you in front of everyone, it’s time to realise that something is wrong in the relationship. They’ll pick on you, point out private things and even shout at you in front of other people. Bullying and intimidation are part of a fractured relationship that’s become toxic. Being humiliated in front of friends or relatives can destroy your image, creating embarrassing situations that leave you feeling vulnerable and inferior. If this is a recurring theme, get out of that relationship ASAP!

10) Lying

If you find yourself lying and hiding the truth from your partner for whatever reason, chances are the relationship has soured and is toxic. Lying comes in different formats. For example, you might lie about your feelings, love for the other person, or your work. But, if you cannot be honest in a relationship and tell the truth no matter what, then it’s time to address the situation.

11) Jealousy

Jealousy is a massive sign that your partner doesn’t trust you for whatever reason. This is a very slippery slope if you can’t have a moment by yourself without the jealous questions and innuendos.

12) Disrespect

Suppose your partner constantly forgets significant events in your life or is taking no interest in your career, hobbies, or lifestyle choices. In that case, they show a lack of respect for you and your importance on aspects of your life.

13) Losing self-esteem

Partners in many toxic relationships will decide to let themselves go. Fearing they have nowhere to go and feel stuck in a relationship like this forever, they take solace in food and binge on Netflix. Exercise and self-grooming take a back seat, and they might even start ignoring their appearance as revenge.

And finally…

There are so many reasons why perfectly happy couples end up in a toxic relationship. It won’t happen instantly. It;’s a subtle and gradual process that can take you by surprise. Remember, you are not alone, and toxicity in relationships is prevalent. The best thing you can do is try mending the damage, but if it’s too far gone, you have to extricate yourself and try meeting new people that could hopefully lead to something special. A healthy relationship feels loving, supportive, respectful and honest. The first step to stepping away from toxicity is recognising your role and taking responsibility for your own actions. Look at where your own behaviour could have contributed to or allowed the toxicity. It may be your own boundaries are clouded, your own self-confidence or any insecurities you have from the past. Forgiveness is the key, and that starts with your own self-forgiveness, being kind to yourself and owning your emotions, which then leads to forgiving the other person which allows you to move on with a clean slate.

Dating deal breakers for men

16 Dating deal breakers for men – women pay close attention!

A woman can turn a man off very quickly on a first date.

They switch off, and whatever you do to get their attention back fails.

Following are some essential things a woman can do to keep a man’s attention and interest.

1) Dishonesty about age

Nothing is worse than dishonesty, especially when it comes to age. Be upfront and truthful about your age, as you cannot hide certain parts of age like wrinkles and grey hair. If you have told the guy you are 35 and you are 45, he will spot this very quickly. The look on his face when he first sees you will tell the whole story. He’ll be super disappointed as he was expecting to see the women in the photo.

Transparency and honesty are essential in the dating world. If a man is after 35-year-old women never try to compete in this space; if you are not 35. It’s impossible, and you’ll only end up in the dating pool competing with younger women. Be confident in your age, who you are, and the man will respect you for this. It would be best to meet a man in your age group.

2) Keep fit

Men are attracted to women who have pride in themselves and their appearance. If a man is fit and has kept himself in shape, he’ll expect the same with you. So yes, it’s hard to go to the gym during COVID with all these lockdowns but try and trim the kilos doing online cardio classes. Looking trim, taught and terrific will have his eyes glued on you throughout the date.

Also read: Winter Blues – tips for looking & feeling fabulous

3) Manners

Men like women to respect their time. Men want attention on them, and if you’re on your phone more than once, this might send signals that your phone addiction is more important than he is. It’s a huge turn off and one that will have him running for the door very quickly. Business Insider tells us when they talk about dating etiquette that three-quarters of singles said they would be turned off if their date answered the phone without any explanation, while 66% said it was off-putting if they texted.

4) Teetotaler

Men respect a woman who is in control of herself. Most men want a beer or a glass of wine on a date. It’s sociable and relaxes the nerves. If you are a teetotaler and stick to the lemon-lime and bitters, this will show a glimpse of the future. Not ideal if he enjoys his alcohol. If he wants to meet in a bar or pub, tell him you’re a non-drinker upfront and ask him if this is a deal-breaker. If so, don’t waste your time. It will be less painful for both of you.

5) Smoking

Ducking out for a quick cigarette is a definite no-no! Smoking is so passe even if you have had a few wines. Telling him you only smoke when you drink may be OK, but this is a massive turn off for the majority of health-conscious guys. 

6) Selfie addicted

Aman appreciates a woman who respects his privacy.  Taking selfies on the date and rushing to post them on Instagram is a huge turn off for most guys. Marie Claire puts it nicely when they say being on your phone during a date is just rude. I hate having to repeat myself continuously because my date is distracted by a Facebook notification or an incoming WhatsApp message. So check it afterwards.’

7) Being late

Men appreciate a woman who respects his time. Unless you have a perfect excuse, don’t be late. Punctuality shows respect for the guys, and he’ll notice this. Running into the date 20 minutes late, looking flustered and sending continual text messages show him that you’re not interested and is a massive turn off. Don’t be surprised if the guy has shot through and is not waiting for you like a loyal puppy if you’re late and didn’t notify him.

8) Talking about your love conquests

Men like to feel like they are the only man in your world. Men don’t want to hear too much about your past sex lives or other many dates. It shows that you are jumping from one date to the next, and he may feel as though he’s just a number on your dating raffle. So try to play down your dating past.

9) Watch your language

Guys are not the only gender that uses swear words; women are just as guilty. So, tone this down as it cheapens you. According to Psychology Today, for many women, profanity is a turnoff—especially on a first date when both parties are expected to be on their best behaviour. So if it’s the same for women, don’t think for one moment that men don’t share the same attitude. Drop the F-bomb word a few too many times, and the man will be out the door never to return.

10) Being too controlling

Men are attracted to a woman who is feminine and allows him to be the man. Try not to dominate even if you are a high powered executive woman in a job where you are the boss of many men. For example, don’t correct his grammar and let him do the ordering, and don’t try to dominate the conversation. 

11) Too much perfume

Don’t overdo the perfume, as it can be overpowering. Also, he might start to think that you’re covering up some heavy body odour. If you want to spice it up with your favourite perfume, use it sparingly, just enough to get his interest. Also, tone down the make-up. Looking natural is a turn on for guys.

12) Overselling your business prowess

A man doesn’t want to know about your business like; he wants to know about you as a person in a relationship. Some women will oversell their business capabilities to cover up the fact that they are struggling financially. Overselling yourself and creating a grandeur image of who you’d like to be is transparent and outright dishonest. Being humble and down to earth is the best approach to keep the men interested in seeing you again for a second date.

13) Going on about the kids

Talking about the day to day life as a mother can kill sexual attraction. If you start complaining endlessly about your children’s problems, school drop-offs, being a single mum will start sending substantial red flags to the man on the date. He wants to learn more about the beautiful you and not your daily life struggles, which can come later.

14) Ask him to pick up the tab

A man appreciates a woman who offers to contribute to the bill in most cases a gentleman will still insist on paying but he does appreciate the offer. Don’t expect the men to pick up the tab at the end of the date. Instead, do the right thing and offer to pay half. Please don’t leave your wallet in the car expecting him to pay.

15) Making the first move

A man likes to take the lead. If you find him cute and you’re attracted to him, don’t go in for the kill even after a few wines. Instead, let him make the first move and resist that temptation. Initiating the first kiss might show him that you are too forward and that you do this with other guys. Hold back and show him that you prefer him to take the lead.

16) Appreciation

A man likes to feel appreciated. You do this by thanking him and showing gratitude and interest in seeing him again. A man likes to know you are interested in him. The old saying play hard to get is a complete turn off for a real man.

4 ways to find love in Australia

4 ways to find love in Australia

Finding love. Why is it such a struggle?

Theoretically, it should be easy to find a true love partner and someone with whom you can spend lots of quality time together.

4 ways to find love in Australia

But, the reality is far from fairy tales and dreams. We live in a world where finding an equal partner and meeting someone in your age group you also have chemistry with is super hard. Yes, you might go out to the gym, shopping or the occasional drink on a Friday night after work, but meeting new, exciting people is becoming harder in this social media-obsessed world. Finding a partner is difficult with so many people using dating apps and playing the field online, going from one date to the next searching for something better. Plus, with busy, hectic lives, living in big cities where people stick to their social circles, and with all your married friends married, how the hell will you find love?

If you want to pull yourself out of self-pity and stop fretting about your love life, this article will help you on your journey. I will highlight four ways to help you find true love in megacities like Sydney and Melbourne.

Love yourself first?

According to Psychology Today, you have to love yourself first and be in a positive frame of mind before even thinking about meeting someone new. In this terrible COVID situation where we are going from one lockdown to the next, it’s essential to remain positive and have a healthy attitude. If you let yourself go for whatever reason, you limit your chances of meeting someone special. In cities like Sydney and Melbourne, where people are gym obsessed, it’s a good idea to keep fit and in shape, before you start going out on dates. Looking good as you stare in the mirror will make you feel a lot better about yourself, and your potential partner will notice this very quickly. Toned bodies, great skin and a positive frame of mind are strong selling points that you can control, so take advantage of having a beautiful body whenever you can.

Break the routine now!

How often do you do the same things? You go to the same gym, walk around the same park, same work environment and get the same takeaway every day. It’s a routine and can lead you into the path of not finding someone. The logic is that you haven’t met someone in your current routine; how will you meet them if you don’t change it up a bit? By now, any intelligent person should realise that keeping the same pattern is not going to bring your love through the door? Changing routine is a great way to challenge you to meet new people and put yourself in new environments. You might like to learn a new skill, take a new class or learn a new sport. Whatever you do, it’s essential to break the cycle of your current patterns.

Forget online dating!

The Conversation tells us that research out there suggests the probability of a match using dating apps such as Tinder is low. Sure, you can get on these apps and have some fun and play the field but remember, easy in, easy out. People are on these apps looking for something they’ll never find with an attitude that there is always someone better with the next right swipe. Tinder, Bumble and Hinge are the same with game players and people who lie and have disingenuous intentions.

Meeting love on the internet is not your best bet if you want to find lasting love with an equal. Yes, you may have heard success stories about someone who married their partner that they met on Tinder, but this is the exception. I know this is a dating agency site but you have a better chance of meeting someone special if you use the services of a matchmaker.

Be clear about what you want!

When you are dating someone, you must be open, honest, and upfront about your intentions and what you want out of a relationship. If they want kids and you don’t, this might be a deal-breaker and enough not to progress to the second or third date. Perhaps your just looking for a platonic relationship while the other person wants to get married. For you to find a genuine connection and real love, you both have to be on the same page. You have to make up your mind from the get-go that you will be truthful to your dating.

However, be careful to avoid being too pushy, opening up too much or intense. You don’t want to scare off a potential match or partner! Be calm, confident, honest and ready to accept someone in your life.

Winter Blues - tips for looking & feeling fabulous

Winter Blues – tips for looking & feeling fabulous

Winter can shift our moods and make us feel down, lazy and demotivated.

You don’t have to feel this way, as winter is the time to prep for Spring and remember it’s only a tiny 12 weeks away.

If you feel a bit down and you can sense that your mood has shifted to hibernation mode due to the longer nights and colder mornings, then it’s time to kick those winter blues and get ready for fabulous Spring.

Following are some excellent nutrition, lifestyle and exercise tips to get you looking fabulous, lean, fighting fit and ready to meet someone special in Spring when you are at your best.

1) Tone down the alcohol

The Australian Government has listed alcohol consumption as one of the leading causes of weight gain, depression, fertility issues, heart issues, and many more toxic problems. The first thing you have to do is look at stopping your intake levels. Curbing those big boozy weekends or Friday after work drinks may be hard for some people, but you want to start looking and feeling better. It’s OK to have a couple of glasses to be sociable, but as usual ( you probably already know this ), but that’s where it ends. Hangovers are a killer and do nothing to help with your mood, motivation levels and, of course, your weight. If you are having issues stopping alcohol, you might want to reach out and talk to a professional organisation that can help you quit.

I can’t emphasise enough how damaging alcohol is and its long-term effects on your body, career, lifestyle, and even relationships. Whatever you do, just stop it. Within 12 weeks, you will notice a massive turnaround in your life. You’ll start feeling more positive, energetic and have new confidence in yourself. 

2) Start Yoga

Yoga has so many benefits that I don’t even know where to start. It tomes your body, detoxes, and improves balance, flexibility and will get you looking fabulous. I’ve just started Bikram Yoga and love it. There are many more traditional style yoga disciplines you can choose from for those who don’t want to sweat so much. Starting Yoga at the beginning of winter and doing, say, 3 to 4 classes per week will give you more zest, bounce and loads more motivation to take on the world. 

3) Avoid Fatty Foods

Fatty, fried, processed foods ( as we all know ) have no benefits whatsoever. If you have a busy lifestyle and enjoy those takeaway meals at the local Thai, think again. Thai dishes have lots of sugar, as do many takeaway restaurants, including your favourite Japanese sushi rolls. For lunch, avoid those fatty, fried Turkish sandwiches with mayo and chicken. Everywhere you go and with most takeaways, the temptation to say to yourself that this is OK and it’s a one-off is far too much. But, the trick is to learn what types of foods are healthy and stick to eating these. Know the difference between good and bad fats. Obesity caused by eating fatty, fried foods will cause diabetes, cancer and cardiovascular disease.

If you want to look your best for Spring and kick those Winter blues, then fatty foods must be off the diet without question. If you base your food intake on saturated rich fatty foods, you might want to speak to a dietician who will plan a meal schedule for you.

4) Go shopping

Give yourself a new look. Head straight to your wardrobe and put clothes that you have not worn in a bag and give it to charity in the last two years. Then, it’s off to your local Westfield to do some clothes shopping. A new look can make you feel fabulous. At the same time, why not head to a professional hairdresser or barber and get that unique, new hairstyle you’ve always wanted. Yes, this will cost a bit of money, but all of this shopping will come together nicely as you trim down and start looking healthier and fresher.

5) Reduce coffee

While a cup of coffee in the morning before work is great and most of us can’t start the day without it in the morning, you need to limit the number of coffees you have per day. Again, like most of life’s pleasures you’ve abused for the last 20 or so years, it’s time to kiss them goodbye and treat them sparingly. Think about all the money you’ll save by not having those two takeaway coffees each day. Which is a great segway into the next point.

6) Reduce debt

Stressing about credit card debts is unhealthy. Stress overall is a killer for your body and mental state of mind, and having that black cloud of debt hanging around you is not helping. Try to consolidate all your debts into one place and negotiate a decent interest rate for a small business loan or a personal loan. 

7) Stop smoking

Stop smoking – that’s all I can say!

There is nothing good about smoking, and all the exercise, healthy eating, Yoga, and early nights will have zero benefits unless you can give up those ciggies. If you’re addicted to smoking or think that a few ciggies at your work drinks are OK, think again. They are possibly the worst thing you can do to your body. Quit now and see how you feel in Spring. Remember this; kissing a smoker on your first date is a massive turn off!

8) Sleep

You need a minimum of 8 hours of sleep per night. A good nights, uninterrupted sleep will do wonders for your state of mind and overall feeling of well-being.

9) Single no more!

If you have been single for a long time and feel that you’re not going to meet someone, now’s the perfect time to ditch these negative thoughts. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself and think that no one out there shares your common interests and goals. But there is. Now’s the very best time to make a positive start and talk to a dating agency that will start this process for you. Even if you are recently divorced and feel as though you are not ready to move on, it’s a good idea to speak to a professional in this area who can help you meet someone special.

10) Start a new hobby

Get off the couch and get those endorphins happening! Nothing beats a good workout before or after work. You might like to start a new hobby or learn a new sport, anything to get you up and move around. Enjoy the outdoors, go for a swim in the ocean or perhaps join a gym. The more exercise you get, the better you’ll start feeling about yourself and your outlook on the world. 

11) Limit social media

Social media addiction is common but try to limit the amount of time you spend on the internet and social media. Keeping your head down scrolling through other peoples lives will do nothing to improve your self-esteem or image. Watching beautiful people may start to trigger loads of self-doubt about yourself. Spend less time on Facebook and more doing things that get you moving around.

Final Thoughts

These are a few quick things you can do to help improve your fitness and mental attitude. There are others, but you have to start looking after the inside firstly to feel gorgeous on the outside. No one will motivate or help you, so you must be proactive and take the first steps. For many people, it’s not so simple. But this is where you have to draw strength from your inner self to pull yourself out of those Winter blues and look forward to a happier Spring.

Beginner’s Dating Guide for Aussie Singles

Beginner’s Dating Guide for Aussie Singles – Helping You Back Into the Dating World

One of the most challenging times in your life can be ending a long-term relationship or marriage. 

You’ve been with the same person for years, even decades and all of a sudden, you find yourself on your own.

Being with a partner for so long will mean getting into the dating world will be a tough call. It’s not like riding a bike where you can pick up where you left off years ago. Dating after a long term relationship will mean that your rusty, out of practice, with low confidence levels and perhaps some self-esteem issues. 

Most people will give themselves a decent period to heal and get over their past relationship, but there will come a time where you will be looking to meet another partner and get out of the single life. Some people might enjoy their freedom and play the field a bit. But, others will want to meet the right person to share their lives.

Following is a beginner dating guide for those who need a guiding hand to help you get back into the dating world.

Don’t do this alone – get help!

Dating after years of being with a partner can be frightening. Sure there are dating apps you can use, but for those singles in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s these apps might not be a viable solution. The answer is engaging the services of a dating agency that can help you kick start the dating process. There are some reputable dating services throughout Australia that you can get in touch with, and they all have singles on their databases that they can meet. Meeting other singles this way is a lot more sophisticated, and the approach is more palatable for most people who have been out of the dating scene for an extended period.

Most dating services will have screened their singles before you meet, so there is a level of filtering. In this way, you are meeting people with similar interest, hobbies and values. Plus, they all looking for a relationship that takes the hassle and stress of going on multiple dates, which for many recently single people can be an intimidating process.

Get to know the person.

You might be in a hurry to get back into a relationship, but don’t rush these things. Take the time to get to know the person before you even think about mentioning the word; love. Falling in love again is a lengthy process, and at Blue Label Life, we know your keen to resume your life and have a partner but invest the time and energy in getting to know who the person is. Jumping into a full-blown relationship is a big deal. Get to know their friends, family and a lot about their life before you even decide to commit. Date for a couple of months at least and perhaps one or two weekends away together when you can have quality alone time ( without the kids or work ) is a good idea.

First dates should be super-casual

Dating after a relationship is not easy. There are always first date chit chat nerves that you need to overcome. Plus, there’s the banter in your head playing doubts on your confidence levels. Questions like what we talk about, what they don’t like the way I look, is extremely common.

The best place to meet for a first or second date is somewhere casual. Go to a cafe for a coffee or perhaps meet in the park for a walk.

Never meet at these places for a first date as they are seriously terrible:

  • a cinema
  • too fancy restaurant
  • home-cooked meal
  • a gym or a yoga class
  • a loud nightclub (unless you in your 20’s)
  • a concert
  • at your parent’s home ( this is a no-brainer )
  • go on a date with your kids
  • never go on a first date that’s going to last more than a couple of hours. You will need an exit strategy if it goes pear-shaped, and being stuck together fr the day is torture.

You can see other stories at Quora for bad date ideas.

Don’t get too drunk.

There will be the temptation to have an extra couple of glasses of wine or beers to calm to nerves. It’s OK to have one or two drinks to be social but limit alcohol intake as this can lead to unintended consequences. Don’t regret your actions caused by too much alcohol. Remember that the person your meeting is nervous too. But, both of you will calm down as the date progresses if there is chemistry.

Get decent photos for your profile.

All dating agencies will require recent photos to build your profile. It might be a d idea ( at this stage in your life ) to get a professional photographer to take these. Don’t submit photos older than 18 months or photos of you in a swimsuit ( you don’t want to send the wrong impression or show off those love handles ). Keep it honest, professional and keep it recent!

Avoid talking about your ex.

No one wants to hear about your ex-partner, least of all someone your meeting for the first time. It might have ended badly, which can stir negative or hostile emotions that you definitely don’t want on display for the first meet up. Yes, you can mention them in a passing comment as most people want to know how long you have been single for but leave it that.

Don’t be too self-obsessed!

Ask them questions about their job, hobbies, and lifestyle and don’t start talking about yourself too much. Raving on about yourself and investing little time to know about the other person is a definite first date turn off and will only drive the other person away.

Be yourself

This can be tough for many people who will want ot put up a wall or show bravado to cover their nerves or insecurities. The best ruke of thumb here is t try to be yourself. Act natural as you want your date to know you for who you are and not someone else.

Conclusion

Dating is hard, especially for those who have been single for a long time or recently divorced, widowed, or out of a long-term relationship. Having someone special in your life is essential for your health, happiness and mental well being. 

divorce dating australia

Divorce Dating Agency Australia

Recently divorced and looking to meet a new partner? Or, have you been divorced for a few years and are tired of being single?

Being single is not a great way to spend your life and just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean you can’t find love again. If you have never thought about using the services of a dating agency, then take a closer look at why so many Aussie divorcees are turning to a dating agency for help.

Posted by Robyn Nind on 17 March 2021

Blue Label Life is one of Australia’s most popular divorce dating agencies catering to singles looking to find a like-minded partner. Robyn Nind and her team of matchmaking experts work tirelessly to match you with other singles ( not necessarily divorced ), so you can start living a happy, fulfilled, romantic life.

If you have tried dating apps or have gone on a few horrible dates recommended by your friends, then we might be the perfect dating solution. Helping recently divorced singles like you is our specialty, and we understand and are sympathetic that the past years may have been harsh. We are here to put the fun, romance and laughs back into your life by finding you a new partner. Now is the time to take the bold first move and step out of your comfort zone by engaging a dating agency like Blue Label Life.

Divorce Dating Agency

You might have thought that finding love again was impossible. After all these years of marriage, how on earth are you going to find another partner? The problem is you have been so long out of the dating scene that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be single and what you need to do on a date.

All these questions like;

  • What do I say?
  • Will they like me?
  • What does my body look like?
  • Am I in shape?
  • Will they like me?
  • What do we talk about?

And, what happens if things get intimate? I have been with only one person for years. I’m so out of practice!

All these negative thoughts and emotions are perfectly natural to have after being out of the dating scene and being recently divorced. It’s entirely typical to feel insecure about yourself, your body image and the way you present yourself. For most divorcees, it’s hurdles and stumbling blocks like this that get in the way of finding a new partner.

Blue Label Life lets you take your dating journey at your pace. We will present you with introductions but will let you go on dates when you are ready. Plus we are there the whole time to advice you on dating protocols and coach you every step of the way. Finding that special someone, you click and connect, especially after a long marriage is not instant. For some singles, it can take many months or even years to get that chemistry again.

A dating agency that works with divorced singles is the natural step you should be taking if you want privacy, discretion and a professional working on your behalf to help you navigate this often tricky path. For some divorcees, this may not be necessary as they might find someone quickly using online dating apps. But, for the majority of Australian singles, dating after years of marriage requires a sensitive helping hand. And, don’t for one minute, think it doesn’t.

Divorced dating should be exciting as this is a brand new chapter of you’re life. Why shouldn’t you find happiness again? You deserve it, and we are here to help you find that partner you’ve been so wanting. Get those butterflies back and start the dating process.

As a member of Blue Label Life, we will create your new dating profile that we will email out to specific members that match your requirements. For the girls, we will help you with styling, hair and makeup tips. And. for the guys we will write that amazing profile and get you that perfect picture to attract the ladies. Creating your best profile is part of our divorce dating service that not many other agencies offer.

Also read: What’s the cost of using a dating agency & is it worth it?

Once we have the best profile possible, you are ready for the next step, and that’s to meet someone. If you’re apprehensive about your first, second or even third date we are there to mentor and tutor you so you’re super-confident and ready to take on the dating world.

Divorcee dating starts here

Now is the time to be proactive.

Get over those divorce blues and start having fun by meeting new and exciting singles. Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean that you have to site alone every night. We will introduce you to people who understand what you have been through and are wanting to make a connection. There are no game players, friends with benefits or one night stand with our introductions.

Start rebuilding your love life today by contacting us at Blue Label Life.

 

first date questions for sydneysiders

22 First Date Questions that are winners!

Are you stuck on ideas or a bit nervous about going on your first date?

What are you going to talk about? These conversation starters are fantastic and are all you need to keep the chatter running smoothly.

Related article: What should you talk about on your first date?

Memorise these, write them down, have cheat notes, but whatever you do, use these. You can thank us later!

1) What are your hobbies? OMG, this is such a great question as it opens the door for so much. Just imagine you have the same hobbies.

2) Do you prefer indoors or outdoors? If she or he is an outdoors person, then you might be as well.

3) What’s the latest movie you’ve seen on Netflix? Everyone watches Netflix so that you can discuss all the TV shows and movies on there. It’s a massive conversation starter.

4) What pets have you had? Are you a dog or a cat person? Who doesn’t love animals and this is a huge topic the both of you can talk about.

5) Where have you travelled? Travel is perhaps the most comfortable conversation starter, and you might want to throw in where you would like to travel to post COVID?

6) What’s your favourite food? Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Italian……the list is endless. Maybe choose a cuisine for your next date!

Also read: COVID safe dating restruants in Sydney

7) What would be your dream job? They might love their job, so be careful to bring this up as they might very well be in their dream job. But if they say they don’t like their work, ask this.

8) What music do you like? Again, this opens up lots of scope for conversation, especially if you’re dating in your 20’s and 30’s as music plays a massive role in their lives.

9) What do you do to unwind after work? Swimming, the beach, going for a walk, cook a fabulous dinner…..there are so many things you can discuss here.

10) What would be the best city to live in? Are they from Sydney or Melbourne, or are they from somewhere overseas? In any case, fantasising about far off cities is excellent to keep the conversation flowing nicely?

11) What would you do if you won the lottery? Now, who doesn’t fantasise about this?

12) What’s the worst airline you have flown? We have all had disaster airline experiences.

13) What’s your favourite cocktail? Or are you a beer person? If you’re at a bar why not buy the cocktail?

14) What did you do last summer? Did you go away or stay locally?

15) Are you a beach or mountain person? They should like one or the other. If they’re into the beach, why not talk about your favourite beaches nearby ( in you live in Sydney ).

16) What’s the silliest fear you have? Spiders, small spaces, public speaking, snakes, flying. You will find someone who always has some fear.

17) What nicknames have you had throughout your life? This is a great one and should provide a few laughs and break the ice.

18) What’s a ridiculous thing you’ve done because you were bored? Maybe they ran 10 km or went on a crazy shopping spree? Who knows unless you ask.

19) Do you get along with your siblings? You can learn a bit about their brothers or sisters.

20) How would your friends describe you? You may also have to tell him or her what your friends would say about you. Try to keep this light-hearted.

21) Where did your parents take you on holidays when you were younger? Hawaii, Bali, Europe or Asia. These are good memories, and they’ll be happy to chat about them.

22) Who is you’re best friend? You can also tell them about your best friend and what they are like.

Need some more help for the first date?

 

20 dating deal breakers for women

20 dating deal breakers for women – men pay close attention!!

There are so many things that can go wrong in the dating world. Finding the right chemistry is about allowing the connection to unfold naturally.

But there are certain things you can control to make sure that your date goes well. Guys should pay close attention to these dating deal breakers for women.

Make no mistake all women are on high alert for these so make sure you read these deal-breaking mistakes before you embark on your first date.

Also read: Over 50’s Dating Advice for Aussie Guys

1. Be transparent

Women feel safe with honesty which builds trust. Not being transparent is an absolute dating and relationship deal-breaker. First date lies are mostly about age. Let’s be honest here guys and admit that we have all taken off a few years when going on a date. I’m sure that you have knocked off 5 or so years on your Tinder or Bumble dating apps.

It’s not uncommon, but you also corroborate the lie with a photo of you on holiday 4 or 5 years ago when you looked just that bit younger. It’s such a simple lie to fabricate, and the logic behind this is that guys think women all want more youthful men.

Unfortunately, the issue here is that if you start a relationship and there is a connection, one day you’ll have to tell the truth about your age. There will always be this dark little grey cloud hanging over you about your age and one day you’ll have to tell the truth.

You might think that this is a small white lie and trimming a few years here, and it’s OK, but it will come back to bite you hard.

What happens if you like her and she finds out about your little lie before you spill the beans and be honest about your age? She’s going to confront you about this. So you better be prepared to face the consequences. If it’s a matter of a year or two you may get away with it but any more and this might be a deal-breaker.

Be honest about your age, and don’t try to pretend that you are something you’re not. Remember if your date is all about looks and age then probably it’s not the right person for you in the long run.

It’s so tempting to lie about your age and hope that your charm, confidence and personality can win her over. Then once you have won her over, you can tell the truth.

If you’re comfortable with this and are sure she’ll be OK with this once she falls in love with you, you are in the minority. There will always be the seed of doubt wondering what else you are keeping from her or lying.

2. Being unemployed

Women are attracted to a man who is capable and can take care of things. Being out of work and unemployed for an extended period is often a deal-breaker for many women. It’s got nothing to do with gold-diggers, let’s make that clear from the start. But, women want to know that their potential partner has a job, or is working in their own business.

Women see hard-working guys as sexy, and they will find you more appealing if they know you’re in a permanent job and not just lounging about the house the whole day. They want to know that you can provide for yourself and not rely on the Government for handouts.

There is, however, a distinction between being unemployed and retired. If you have worked hard and have decided to retire and are self-sufficient, this is OK. Women will admire your financial independence.

The big deal-breaker is telling them you haven’t worked in the past couple of years. They’ll find it odd that you are so demotivated and if there is the chance of a relationship, what will you be doing the whole day while they’re at work?

3. Being late

Women need to know your reliable and they can depend on you. If you are meeting for the first time on a date, then you should be on time. Being late is OK but make sure you let your date know you’re running 5 or 10 minutes late because of traffic or any other reason. If you are consistently late, this is a sign of rudeness and lack of respect. Even worse, you cancel the date at the last minute. That’s OK for the first time if you have an excellent reason but do it again, and OMG this is a HUGE deal-breaker. Expect never to see her again or have the opportunity for another date with her. Being punctual and on time shows her that you are keen and you value her time as well.

If you are late for the date, apologise profusely and let her know that it was out of your control. An apology like this should get you off the hook and into her good books.

4. Cancelling

A woman likes to know you respect her time. Cancelling is a massive date deal breaker if you do it more than once. You will get away with it the first time if there is a sound reason, but if there is a pattern expect never to see that person again.

5. Odd Social Media Profile

Women respect a man who is private. If you go on a date with a woman and give her your Instagram feed, she will go through it. You can count on that! Guys, if your Instagram feed or Facebook page is full of photos of women you have taken recently, you may come off as a player. Be careful when you give her your social media platforms. If you like the girl perhaps look at deleting some recent photos of you with other girls.

6. Out of shape

Women respect men who have pride in himself. Women like guys who look after themselves. You don’t have to be training for the Olympics but try to keep a few kilos off your waist. Consider going to the gym a couple of times a week and easing up on those late-night food binging sessions. If you look overweight, this sends a huge negative signal to your date that you don’t care about your body image.

7. You don’t care about your appearance

A woman will determine who invested you are in her through your efforts and actions. For the date, make an effort. Try to dress well and look the part. Your date will notice this, and you’ll earn points for this. Coming to the date as you’ve just walked off the beach is a deal-breaker for most women, especially if you’re going to a nice restaurant. If you like her, invest some money in decent clothes as this will work in your favour.

8. Did you shower today?

Women are attracted to a clean smell. There is nothing worse than body odour on a date. Add the nerve factor and sweating to this, and you’re going to smell horrible. It’s a no-brainer to have a shower before the date and use some aftershave and deodorant. Bad hygiene will reflect poorly on you and is a deal-breaker. You can add you’re breath to this as well. Meeting someone after a garlic laden meal is a massive turn off. So brush your teeth, use aftershave, look the part and dress well to make a great impression!

Also Read: Not getting a second date? Find out why

9. He’s not alone

Women want to know who you are away from your mates. OMG, this is a deal-breaker if he comes with a few mates to the date. How will you get to know him if he’s there with his mates having a few drinks with you? Forget bringing anyone. Go solo and meet her one on one.

10. He’s a heavy drinker

Women are attracted to a man whose in control of himself. One or two glasses of wine are OK for a date. It’s social, and it can calm the nerves but hitting it hard and slamming down the vodkas is a deal-breaker. You look immature, and if you get too drunk, you lose inhibition. You don’t want to say or do things you might regret. Women want a guy who can show control and not let the booze take over. It sets a very dangerous precedence for the future.

11. He’s doesn’t have any friends

A woman always looks at your close friendships. Women want men who have healthy, social connections with other people. Being a lone wolf with no ties shows her that you might be incapable of a relationship. He should also have a good relationship with other family members. Women will perceive solo creatures as a burden as they might feel like they have to fill empty voids. Try to join a few social groups where you can make other connections.

12. Playing with his phone

Women like to feel you are present on a date. Leave the mobile phone alone for at least an hour and pay close attention to what she says. Can you do that? If not, you’re probably not ready to start dating. Women will find it rude, impolite and bad-mannered if you’re on your phone while she sits opposite you. Only take a call if it’s crucial. Explain to her why you have to take it and apologise. Being apologetic is the only way it’s acceptable – if and only if it’s an emergency.

13. Dull conversation

Women appreciate a man who shows interest in her by asking questions. Try to invest and pay some interest in her, her life and her experiences. It’s not all about you on the date. Ask questions about her life, work and hobbies. Talking about yourself the whole time is dull and boring and a deal-breaker. Conversation skills is an art but have it in the back of your mind to ask her questions. You don’t have to be funny or overly chatty. Just try to be interested in her.

14. Be yourself

Pretending to be someone else is a deal-breaker. It is hard sometimes to be yourself. You may have issues, phobias or complexes that you want to hide. Being another person or playing another character’s role will be too hard to keep up and exhausting for you. Be yourself and see how that goes. She will like you for this. Overcompensation for nerves by trying to be too funny, too loud or too aggressive is a deal-breaker. According to Brides Online when a man believes in himself, knows who he is, and knows what he wants, it’s very appealing to a woman.

15. Smoking

Running outside for a quick cigarette is a massive deal-breaker. I can’t think of anything worse than this, especially if she is a non-smoker. Your breath will stink and expect her to be gone once you’ve put it out on the pavement!

Also read: What are the effects of smoking and tobacco?

16. Too much baggage

Women don’t want to know about your past relationships. Going on and on about your ex is a big deal-breaker. Shut up about your ex and let it go. You’re on this date to make a fresh start and meet someone new. Bringing your ex up is OK if it is brief but talking exhaustingly about your ex (mostly negative ) can raise alarm bells. Be very aware of what you say and how you say it.

Your date will be on the lookout for any sign of a bad break-up. Breakups can raise questions and can open up a can of worms that ideally should be closed. Leave all conversations about your ex for later when the two of you are closer. Writing off your ex and slagging her off is a dating deal-breaker. It tells your date that you have not forgiven her and you’re still bitter. The perception from her side of things will be perhaps your not ready to move on?

17. Forget one nightstand!

Women like to feel that you’re interested in her as a person not as a sex object. If there were ever a deal-breaker, this would have to be it. Going in for the kill on a first date is the best way to turn her off.

Be a gentleman and forget about sex on the first date. The temptation may be there, and perhaps that small voice is going off in your head ( especially after a few drinks) to make a move. But resists it! Sure you can have a little kiss at the end of a lovely evening, but that’s all you should aim to get. If you get tipsy and your hands are all over her, she will hate it.

18. Pay the bill

Don’t be a tight ass as this makes women feel looked after. Pay the bill for lunch, dinner or drinks at the restaurant. Don’t let her put her hand in her pocket even if you want her to. She will notice this. If you ask her to pay half the bill, she will think what a tight ass and this will go against you.

19. He’s got old fashioned views

A woman likes to be treated as an equal. You’re not dating your mum. If you have old fashioned views about women, keep them to yourself. Times have moved on, and we are not back in the 1950s. Women have careers, they are successful, and they have money. Please respect the fact that they have worked hard and are in their position because of this.

Also read: How to seduce a confident woman

20. Be nice to the waiters

A woman always looks at how you treat others. If there’s something wrong with the meal never get aggressive or show signs of anger. Be polite and show respect to the staff. If you show aggression now, your date will pick up on it for sure!! Questions like what will you be like in the future, or are you prone to bouts of abuse will set the alarm bells ringing.

There are many other dating deal breakers for women that guys should understand before going on a first or second date. If you’re a single guy in Sydney or Melbourne and need some dating advice, please contact Robyn at Blue Label Life on 1800 553 510.