All posts by staff

Sick of meeting the wrong people online

Sick of meeting the wrong people online

Have you been on online dating websites and been on date after date with the wrong
types of people, having nothing in common, no connection and on completely different stages in life?

Are you sick of wasting your time, feeling disappointed, or feeling that there is no-one out there for you?

Or there are no descent singles out there anymore?

Or maybe you find it hard to connect online?

Maybe you find it hard to get to meet someone face to face. It can get confusing, things can get misunderstood, your matches are talking to other people at the same time, you can lose interest very quickly and you are quick to close doors or people are quick to close doors on you. You waste weeks trying to connect with someone, maybe you can feel a connection, and then all of a sudden it stops, all of a sudden they stop talking to you and you have no idea why.

Or maybe you actually reach the stage of going on a first date and you take a lot of time and care getting ready, feel excited, feel nervous, have butterflies and then boom, you see them and they are nothing like what you had expected, or they don’t look like their photos, they haven’t put in any effort, and you are clearly on different levels and stages!
Or maybe you have seen each other a few times, you are getting to know each other, and you are feeling good about it, getting excited, and you feel wow, we are on the same page, want the same things and are having a great time getting to know each other, and then boom, they disappear…nothing…no explanation…and you never hear from them again…people are calling it “ghosting”….maybe they were seeing someone else at the same time?…. maybe they just weren’t ready…..maybe they weren’t looking for something serious?

All these scenarios can leave you feeling deflated, disappointed, or frustrated, upset, you can start to doubt yourself, your confidence can start to deteriorate and you can end up wanting to give up…….you wonder why you cant find someone who wants what you want, have the same values and treats you the same way you would treat them.

Related article: Feel like Giving up on love?….Never….ever…give up…..always pick up your sword…

A lot of my clients with Blue Label Life have felt this way at some stage and are sick and tired of wasting their time, they don’t want to go on anymore pointless dates, meeting people who are nothing like what they are looking for. They are tired of doing their own screening and have reached a point where they couldn’t be bothered anymore and want someone else to do the screening for them. They want to get the right result. They want to meet people who are committed and who want to have a good relationship in their lives…

At Blue Label Life we call it the paradox of dating…. If you went into a shop and wanted to buy a good pair of jeans, and we all know how hard it is to find a good pair of jeans that look good and that are comfortable. The sales assistant keeps throwing jeans at you, you are in the change room, the lights are hot, you get all sweaty, the room is small, you have jeans everywhere, you put one leg in and another leg in another pair, you get frustrated and you give up and walk out with nothing……..however if the sales assistant said to you I have measured you and these are the jeans that are perfect for your shape and size, she hands you one pair of jeans and walks away….. You are going to take your time…you are going to slowly put these jeans on…. you will look at the jeans from every angle….you will turn around…turn to your side….you may even bend over… but you will study these jeans closely and really get to know these jeans and see how good they look and feel and you will probably buy them….online dating is exactly the same.. all the choice creates inertia…nothing happens….

At Blue Label Life we focus on quality not quantity…we introduce you to people with the same values, similar lifestyle, similar priorities in life and want the same things…. All our members are educated, financially secure, have a healthy lifestyle and are genuinely looking for a long term relationship…you don’t need to worry about the screening…we do all that for you… you just have to go and have a good time and see who you are attracted too and connect with……

How to love again after an abusive relationship…

How to take your power back after an abusive relationship and love again….

What prevents us from loving?…..

Fear…fear of being rejected…..fear of not being good enough….fear of not being loved back…fear of being judged….
What is fear?…..

…anxiety…..it is an emotion….an emotion that starts with a belief….a thought….

….if you have ever been in an abusive relationship you know how powerful fear can be….

….and how it can take over your body and your mind…..

….there are many forms of abuse…emotional….verbal….physical…

…in an abusive relationship you may fear physical violence….

….you may fear being yelled at…

…..you may fear verbal abuse……

…you may fear the other persons mood……

…you may fear not knowing the other person’s mood….

…you may fear unpredictability…..

…you may fear addictions….

…and you never feel safe….

…so how do you feel love again after you have felt this fear?….

…how do you feel safe again in your heart?….

….how do you trust another heart again?….

…how do you trust yourself and who you attract?…

..and that is the point….yourself….let’s start with that…yourself…

…you…and only you…. Let us look at you…. Let us look at how you look at you…

…what do you see?… let’s look at you….let us go back and look at you… you when you were innocent…you when you were full of love…you when you were full of wonder.. you when you were full of opportunities… you when you were open…you when you wanted inspiration…you when you trusted…you when you were excited…

…let us look at you when you were love…

…that is you…that is the real you.. that is your core…that is you today…that is who you are….

…now let us look at how you have treated you… how have you let other’s treat you…. How have you valued you?… now it is time to start… it is time to start to have others value you… it is time for you to trust… it is time for you to look at you…and know you are of value… and you will treat you with value… you will treat you with love… and you will know you treasure you.. and you forgive… you forgive you….you forgive you for not valuing you… you forgive you for not accepting only love.. for you…you forgive you for not allowing yourself to be loved… and now it will change…it will change for you…. And you will be loved… you will be valued… you will be inspired… you will be excited…and you will trust.. you will trust what is in front of you.. you will trust you… you will appreciate…and you will be safe….

 

Feel like Giving up on love?….Never….ever…give up…..always pick up your sword…

Feel like giving up on love?….

as Winston Churchill said in 1954…..persist….persist….persist….persist…..

Feel like you have had enough? Want to give up? Sick of being misunderstood? Had your heart broken? Had your trust broken? Suffered loss? Don’t want to waste anymore time? Don’t have any energy left?

Many times in my life I have wanted to give up, stop everything, throw in the towel, said enough is enough, I can’t go on anymore…

…….this is a turning point, a turning point for your character, a turning point for your strength, a turning point for your resilience….your beliefs… your faith….your stamina…..your core….

…this is it….this is the time when you either hold on…or you give up…..
…give up?……not an option…..you take everything you have….everything you know.……you back yourself….you hold on…..you hang on…. you keep stepping forward… you refuse….you refuse…you absolutely refuse….to give up……

…..because you know deep down…..somewhere deep down… in your soul…in your heart…..in your mind…..you know…..you know you are worth fighting for….you are worth believing in….you are worth backing……you have so much to offer….you have love….you have heart… you have generosity…you have soul….

……you start turning…turning….turning…turning in….turning in towards yourself….towards your heart…towards your love….towards your soul…..
…you pick up your sword……you look….you look…..you look in the mirror…. And you see love….you see support…..you see admiration…..you see encouragement… you see your love….you see your heart…. you see your worth… you embrace… you value….you treasure…you believe….you see happiness…..you embrace…….you love…..you fight….

…..and only then….only then…will someone else see the same as you……only then will someone treasure you….only then will someone value you… only then will someone appreciate you….only then….when you give yourself the love you deserve…….the love you are born to have…..the love you want…..then….and only then….will you receive it from someone else….and you will…..you will receive it…….you will feel it….you will feel love……you will feel heart….you will feel valued…

……….So never give up…..pick up your sword………fight…….always hang on…. always take that next step forward…. Have faith…know you are looked after….believe in miracles……believe in change….trust…..trust…and…trust….trust everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be…..trust and believe….trust love…..know love….feel love….be love…persist…..persist….persist….persist….

How to seduce a confident woman…

What does a confident woman look for in a man?

I previously wrote an article on what a good man is attracted too, so I thought, I should even it out and give the gentleman a heads up!!

The first clue Gentleman……..PLAN………

A woman who respects herself, has pride in herself, cares for the people she loves, wants a loving connection, likes to grow in her life, wants to be a team with a man, is confident with who she is, can be open and vulnerable, is inspiring, is supportive, is confident– well she is the type of woman who loves a plan….

She wants to feel safe, she wants to know she can be vulnerable and you will hold her hand, put your arms around her and protect her…….she will know this when she sees you are capable of taking care of things…

Now I don’t mean taking control, I mean you have thought ahead, she needs to feel you are looking after her and you have her back….

She likes to feel heard, she likes to know you value her, a woman feels connected to the man she can relax around, and she will relax when she knows you can take of things….
Strength of character, a confident woman likes a man with integrity, she likes a man who stands by what he believes in and isn’t easily swayed, influenced, or distracted….

Good manners, respectful in your conversation and she will definitely look at how you speak about other women, and this includes past partners, your mother, sisters, aunts , daughters, nieces, a woman on television, Nanna’s, the woman down the road, your friend’s wife, a woman on the internet, the check-out-chick, all of them, she will pick up everything you say about them…… I can’t stress this one enough……..so let me explain it to you, women are generally sisters, they support each other, nurture each other and rally around each other, if she hears you speak badly of any woman, she will subconsciously hear you speak badly about all women….. she will want a man who is respectful towards all women…

Now that does lead me to giving her your attention when you are with her and not to other women……

Now I am not a man, but I can imagine women can be very confusing, so I think the best way to seduce a woman is to let her know you like her, tell her you like her, and then wait……let her come towards you before you pursue her again…….a woman respects a man who does this……always initiate….but then wait…..let her know you want to get to know who she is…..let her make the first sexual move….let her know you like her…then wait……if you do this….she will think of you as strong…..and that is what you want……..make her wait….then once she makes the first move…..you can then take over…

Compliment her, and when I say compliment her, I mean compliment her efforts….a woman who takes pride in herself and is together in her life makes a lot of effort…….this is a big one….I will give you an example, instead of saying your hair looks great…..add….you always put effort into your appearance and I appreciate that in a woman……or….if you want to compliment her on how she is in good shape…..say you look amazing, well done on the effort you put into looking after yourself…….notice the effort……always notice the effort……I notice you put a lot of effort into your work…….you take a lot of care with people….notice her effort……..and she will feel special……she will feel you have really looked at who she is…….

Talk about your passions……it doesn’t matter what it is…..she will look at how passionate you get…and she will love it……..in her mind she will want you to be that passionate about her…..

…Lastly and this is probably one of the most important…..always do what you say you will……..I hear this one every day…….if for some reason you can’t….pick up the phone and talk to her in person…..don’t ever cancel with a text…..or change a plan with a text….she will think you are flakey….speak to her…..make an effort to call her in person…..she will notice this and she will appreciate this……she will feel respected….and she will feel valued……and a confident, attractive, healthy woman will want to be valued…………

What a good man looks for in a woman

What a good man looks for in a woman…

Here it is ladies!!!……

I am often asked by my female clients what a man is looking for in a woman and what is he attracted too……..?

I always answer a man will always want to feel good around a woman, it is about how she makes him feel that is the most important thing to him. Yes, this correct, however I wanted to dig deeper and find out what it was specifically a good man looks for and what he is attracted too!

And by the way,

What do I mean by a good man?

I mean a man who respects a woman, wants a good quality connection with a woman, is secure, down to earth, knows who he is and has good manners. Values a relationship and is committed to making it work.

Here you go…….

Well the first one is………her smile……..and her naturalness….

…He is attracted to her persona, her air of confidence… how comfortable she is in her skin…..

…he likes a woman who knows what she wants….

…..he will look at how she treats and speaks about the people in her life. He knows how she views and respects the people close to her will in turn show how she will treat him, his family, and the people close to him.

Now this is one is a biggie……. he wants to be with a woman who accepts him and doesn’t judge him, he wants a woman who supports him and will stand by his side……a good man values kindness, honesty and realness…..and this leads me to….

…he looks at how she treats the waiter….

…optimism….

..…he looks for a woman who is respectful and will never embarrass him….he likes a woman who is tactful with him, she is kind in correcting him…

…she has courage, is honest, is authentic and generous…..

……she makes time for others….

…she hears him and appreciates him…..

….she acknowledges what I do and want…..

She protects me from myself and others…….

She wants to help me be a bigger man, more successful in life…..

The feeling that I can just be me…the best version of me……

The dance of courtship…

Step forward! Step back!

Forward…Back….

I often talk to my clients about the dance of courting and the importance of stepping back once you have stepped forward. This is relevant to whether you are a man or a woman, stepping back allows the other person to reflect and miss you, it is also an opportunity for you to reflect on how you feel.

Now just to be clear, I am not talking about playing games, or being unavailable, ignoring or being rude, not at all, I am talking about the dance between a woman and a man, the feminine and the masculine.

Just like the rubber band analogy often used, imagine there is a rubber band around the two of you, and when one steps forward, other needs to step back to keep the tension tight.

Step forward…Step back

I am often asked how long a man needs to wait to contact a woman and then how long a woman needs to take to respond. I think when you are polite, respectful, playful, fun, positive, the timing doesn’t matter, it is more about once you make contact, you then wait for the other to come forward. Forward. Back. Forward. Back.
Stepping forward can have different contexts, such as opening-up, making contact, making-a-suggestion, flirting, asking a question and so on. Once this is done, then – step back.

You can do this as much as you wish, whether you are a man or a woman, as long as you step back afterwards. It also creates equality in the relationship.
What do I mean by stepping back?

I mean wait, I mean focus on yourself, I mean look after yourself, love yourself, give yourself time to reflect, nurture yourself, allow time to happen, allow things to unfold, be patient, sit back. Sit in your emotions, feel your emotions, embrace your emotions.
We are in a world now when we are getting used to having instant gratification, instant messaging, instant results, instant information, instant fun, instant spark!
Connection is not instant!!!!!!!

Connection takes time and patience, it is a dance…forward…back…

…the longer it takes, the more stable and solid your relationship is, the healthier the attachment, and the more we can still be our individual selves and come together as a team, and the more exciting it is, the more certain it is, the more genuine it is, the more inspirational it is, and the more satisfying it is….

The message behind stepping back doesn’t necessarily mean it is now your turn to step forward, it is now your turn to do the work, it is now your turn to show yourself…….
Instead consider it meaning – Now come and get me…. I entice you… I invite you… It is fun…it is banter…I inspire you…step forward…step back…it is a rhythm… it is a motion…it creates a foundation….forward…back…it creates equality…synergy… flow…forward…back…forward…back

Love.

It’s the one word that can summon various positive feelings all at one. To some, it’s a warm and welcoming feeling. To others, it’s a jovial and playful emotion that we all welcome with open arms. No matter what feeling it calls upon, it’s always a good thing to be in love.

So does this mean that the absence of love means unhappiness? Or that if you are in love you are automatically happy? Well, it is much more complicated than that.

We all know that love can never be bought, traded, or forced. This is the reason why love gets a bit complicated for some people. The thing is, the NEED to be loved is very hard to fill. This is because we always look for a different source of love when in fact self-love is the source of everything.

Remember when your friend, parent, sibling told you at one point that in order to truly love somebody else, you must first learn to love yourself?

They could have never been more right. So how can you be single and still be happy? Remember being single is temporary, if you want love, you will find love, it’s about being proactive, being the best possible version of you and focusing on what you in your life and taking actions to make it happen.

During this temporary transition here are some tips you can follow to make single-hood a much better experience for you:

  1. Stop comparing your life with other and take charge! Activity breeds success!
  2. Aim at being a better person. People love positive, kind people.
  3. Indulge. Give back to you! You deserve it!
  4. Go out and have fun. You’ll feel amazing!
  5. Count your blessings and realize you are still fortunate.
  6. Take up a new hobby. It will make you even more interesting.
  7. Look in the mirror and say I love you!
  8. Be positive!

So what about people who are currently in love? Are they always happy? Not necessarily. There will be times when happiness is hard to find in a relationship and that is perfectly normal. The whole point of being in a relationship is facing these “trying times” and coming out as a stronger couple. Here are some tips you might want to put in mind so you will be happier while in a relationship.

  1. Talk. Communication is key in every relationship.
  2. Make sure that you have each other’s attention when talking.
  3. Give in on the little things every now and then.
  4. Say “I love you” in more ways than one.
  5. Be as loving and compassionate whenever you are communicating with your partner.
  6. Practice teamwork.
  7. Work out the kinks in your relationship.
  8. Set goals as a couple and reach them as a couple.
  9. Fight fair.
  10. Be romantic, act romantic, and feel romantic.

Remember that love and relationships are not like having a house built. You can’t go and ask people to make it for you in exchange for money. Or like buying a new car where you just have to pay money and you get the car. Instead, you must take a transformational approach in love. One must learn how to pluck the sinews of the heart. We must learn how to inspire the people we love. We must learn how to envision. Lastly, we must learn how to show and give love in order to receive love.

9 Not-So-Cliche Date Ideas

Do You Want To Do Something Different This Date Night?

If you’re looking for something special to do rather than the old cliche norm of dinner and a movie then you must read this next article.

Whether your keeping the passive alive in your existing relationship or you want to make an incredible first impression then you need to stand out from the crowd and think outside the square. Click the link below to discover some fantastic date ideas

https://www.mydeal.com.au/blog/post/not-cliche-date-ideas

 

https://www.mydeal.com.au/blog/post/not-cliche-date-ideas